Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Trends in Bollywood that need to Stop !

Search all over internet and you will still find jokes about how bollywood is about couples running around trees. Bollywood does`nt deserve such remarks cause it has developed a lot compared to what it was in the 80`s(unless your film name is aarakshan,than yeah you definitely deserve those remarks). However that does`nt mean that Bollywood is great now. It still sucks and there are still a lot of irritating trends that goes on in bollywood like..

1)Shameless stars relaunching their careers:-


Worst offenders:-
Uday Chopra
Eesha Deol
Jackie Bhagnani






Nepotism is highly prevalent in Bollywood. This has given some really untalented brats of rich celebrities an easy access into Bollywood . These star-sons have become huge failures rejected by the entire country. As if tormenting us with nightmares by releasing horrible films is`nt enough,these "Stars" re-launch themself in their own production house in order to give the audience another chance to realize what a great acting talent they are missing on.

These great acting talents:



2)Stereotype colleges:-

Worst offenders:
kuch kuch hota hain
aarakshan
Mohabbatein
3 idiots
Munnabhai
and basically any bollywood film which involves a college.





Almost all of these bollywood films involve the hero falling in love with the principal`s daughter and probably in a huge clash with the principal-father in law too. Also most such films are about a college which is supposedly the best college of the country or city. Why do these filmmakers not care about ordinary colleges?

Apparently even Indian writers follow this trend:




3)Award show formats


Worst offenders:-
All commercial Bollywood award shows.



Its one thing that their results are completely flawed,lets forget about that fact for now. The biggest issue is how god damn irritating these award shows have become. These days award shows are basically about...

Homosexual references:


Homosexual references featuring karan johar:


Homosexual references featuring karan johar in a show hosted by srk:-



Homosexual references featuring karan johar in a show hosted by srk where srk makes fun of others:-



Homosexual references featuring karan johar in a show hosted by srk where srk makes fun of others and himself:-



Homosexual references featuring karan johar in a show hosted by srk where srk makes fun of everyone while ending up winning the best actor award himself:-



Homosexual references featuring karan johar in a show hosted by srk where srk makes fun of everyone while ending up winning the best actor award in a show whose promos features ...you guessed it.:-



Who do you expect would take this award seriously if the show is promoted by u,hosted by u,u perform in it and end up winning d award too.And please for the love of god cut down on the homosexual jokes. It isn`t funy anymore.Infact it is more gay than the gays themselves.


4)Announcing sequels


Worst offender:
Preety much every big budget film in recent years...from Wanted to blue to partner to every god damn film.




The most popular trend right now is to announce sequels immediately after the first weekend or like Shirish Kunder who announced tees maar khan sequel a week before release.


"Because you know...tees maar khan 1 isnt a sufficient punishment for making my jaan-e-mann a flop.Suffer the wrath of tmk2 too."




It`s not just these huge number of sequels but the fact that sometimes the sequel has nothing really to do with the original.The sequels sometimes don`t even have the same characters like in murder2.They are so very different from the first film.

Murder 1 rip off of a hollywood film
Murder 2 rip off of a korean film. see? SO DIFFERENT!



"Hmmmm maybe Murder 2 at the end of the day....is a proper sequel."




5)South Masala Remakes


Worst offenders:-
Every salman film of recent times
Singham
Ghajini-for starting this damn trend.





Well remakes/rip offs aren`t a latest trend. They have been going on since time immemorial. Infact the very foundation of bollywood is based on the audacity to rip off foreign films but act like its an original work of art. Hell Priyadarshan considers it his religion to remake mallu films in bollywood.
But the latest trend we all see is the excessive bastardized irritating remakes of south masala films. You could as well remake the good south films like how the cult classic Hera Pheri did. But nope you just had to venture into that one area where bollywood were better than south(which is by not making 80`s style films) and now proving bollywood is officially worse than south cinema. The ironical part is that such films were often ridiculed by bollywood fans few years before.



6)Profanities:



Worst offenders:
No one killed Jessica
Delhi Belly


"watch our film and you'll not only get to hear words like gaand but will also get to see some hot girl-on-girl action.Yup,that`s right."


Now i don`t have any problems with usage of profanities. Infact most of my favourite foreign films are filled with profanities. But in Bollywood profanities are used just for shock factor and sensationalism. Hell in trailers of Delhi Belly and No one
killed Jessica..the very selling point of the film is that "look! we have abuses in our films!!This automatically makes us cool!!!"

And our Indian audience for some strange sadistic reason find it hilarious for the mere utterance of abuses.


Holy shit did they just say the BC word in 3-d??Omg that`s so cool and funny.



7) Well there is more :
(i)Irritating comedy slapstick films started by Akshay Kumar and faithfully being continued by Ajay Deyvgn
(ii)Usage of the bodyrig camera which is basically a camera attached to the actor and moves along with actor. DevD started the trend for a tripping scene involving Abhay which made sense because the movement of the camera is perfect for that scene. But now everyone is using it!

Including Imran in Break Ke Baad where the usage of this camera was even used for promotion Here.

This trend isn`t just in Bollywood but even in Bengali and tamil cinema.

(iii)Making a big deal of the Oscar Library where second film including the ones like Yuvraaj,Action Replayy,Khelein Hum Jee jaan sey which are all attrocious films even for Bollywood`s standards are sent. Obviously the people who are responsible for selection of films into this library are a weird cult group from an alternate dimension who consider Taran Adarsh as their god.



Probably why Marlon died in the end of Apocalypse Now..the horror...the horror.



Its only the filmmakers who publicize it as if its an honor that their film was sent to the oscar library but the truth is any and every film good/bad , hit/flop film gets into the oscar library if its released in L.A.


P.S
Posting after 8 months gap..... feels good :-)

19 comments:

  1. awesome 1!good return from exile,correct amount of humor+sarcasm=gre8 blog!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes yes yesssss , abhidabhi is back , whooopie \:d/
    Welcome back >:D<
    And the post,as usual, phunny it was :D
    "Holy shit did they just say the BC word in 3-d??Omg that`s so cool and funny."
    LOL and I can actually picture u saying this =))
    Keep blogging coz u rock abhi :)

    XoXo

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Funny Article..Agree with most of the things..

    Homosexual jokes are really a passe,But it is used as a defensive mechanism by Karan Johar..

    About body rig shots can't really complain when film makers use it to make sense(Best used in drug/numb scenes like those in Requiem and Dev D) ,But most of the directors use it as a new way to shoot a scene more like a trend..

    Completely hate the idea of "Idly Southerns" :D
    remakes in Bollywood..Nice post..Keep on blogging..Cheers mate!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. agree with the post dude.. yeah its most irritates now these days..

    ReplyDelete
  6. @king,nirati,supertramp,surajit
    thankssss a lot for taking time 2 comment :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I like it =D I like the way u write =)

    PS I started blogging actively two to three months back n I felt so good about it. =D

    http://mycupppaaacofffeee.blogspot.com/

    Follow me?? =D ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Cool post..liked it on some parts.. bt i see one comment hs been removed by author :P

    ReplyDelete
  9. @santosh
    the guy who removed it re-posted it back in a different account in d next comment.
    Till now have never deleted any comment.
    If u see old posts...there r some anonymous abuses especially by akshay and chetan bhagat fans.Havent deleted them.

    ReplyDelete
  10. "And please for the love of god cut down on the homosexual jokes. It isn`t funy anymore.Infact it is more gay than the gays themselves." So freaking true :D

    Welcome back and keep writing! :)

    ReplyDelete
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  12. ts only the filmmakers who publicize it as if its an honor that their film was sent to the library but the truth is any and every film good.

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