Saturday, September 1, 2012

Top 15 best Hollywood movie teaser trailers

I believe that making a great teaser or trailer for a movie is an art in itself. Because it has the power to make a stupid film look awesome and an awesome film look stupid. There are many outrageously bad trailers of movies like godfather 2 which just goes ahead and ruins the entire goddamn film. No seriously, it was like the guy was searching out for all the possible spoilers in the film to spoil it for all of us. And then there are great teaser/trailers like...

15. Inception

The world was curious as to what Nolan had up his sleeve after the highly acclaimed Dark Knight. A spinning top..goosebump inducing music..tilting glass of water..a great tagline..joseph gordan levitt fighting in some kind of anti-gravity hallway..and the title "INCEPTION".Gives us not a clue about the plot and yet very few teasers in recent past created so much excitement without giving away anything.

14. Austin Powers and the spy who shagged me

During the summer of 1999 the most hyped and the most talked about movie by far was the star wars prequel. Star wars had a huge huge fanbase and no one cared about any of the other summer releases in 1999. So in such conditions what do the makers of this austin powers film do? Well..they come out with this trailer.

13.Terminator 2

Previously films used to have new footage that were shot specially for teasers and trailers. Sadly this is a dying art. Check out the teaser for terminator 2 which showed us how terminators are made.

12. Superman Returns 

Marlon Brando`s narration..brandon routh..the brilliant background music..this just could`nt get better. Sorry Zack Snyder, but your superman teasers are no match to this one.

11. Jurassic Park

For the first time, man and dinosaur shared the earth. And this happened at a place called...

10. Social Network

This is one of those teasers you would probably like more after you saw the movie.This teaser basically says the entire story of the movie in facebook format(and yet this doesn`t seem spoilerish at all) and ends with the best dialogue in the whole film.

9. Miracle on 34`th street

Extremely innovative especially considering that they thought of this in the 1940s.It takes place outside the world of the movie and into the production studio with a funny ironic end.One of those trailers that`s a short film in itself.

8. Cloverfield

Oh look its some kinda handheld camera shot scene of some party...oh wait looks like there`s some kind of danger happenning in the it an alien attack? HOLLYYYYYY FUCKKKK IS THAT THE STATUE OF LIBERTY?!

7. Minus Man

You probably haven`t seen this movie. Hell you probably wouldn`t have even heard of this movie.But this trailer has to be the most innovative trailer ever made!
It involves people who have nothing to do with the film. These are two audience members who just came out out of the screening of this film and can`t stop talking about it.What starts out in a breezy fashion ends with a dark note. Must watch.

6. Comedian

Comedian is a little known documentry by Jerry Seinfeld. Just watch this unique gem of a teaser. "No i like it in here" sheer genius i tell you.

5. A Clockwork Orange

Bizaare..just like Kubrick himself.

4. Dr.Strangelove or How i learned to stop worrying and love the bomb

Let`s be frank here..some of Kubrick`s film trailers alone are better than most modern films.

3. Alien

Creepy eerie music..visuals of outer space(quite an offbeat setting for a horror flick)..more creepy visuals..ending with what i consider the best tagline for a movie in hollywood history. Perfectamundo.

2. The Shining

It is quite shocking to see how so much impact can be achieved with just one setting.OK fine, no more kubrick films in this list.

1. The Exorcist

Probably no movie trailer in the history of hollywood ever created such a huge impact as much as this one. When this was screened in the previews in movie theatres during the 70s people were scared out of their wits.Alot of people just ran away through the exit after seeing the scary black and white visuals here.Many theatres ended up baning this trailer as it was too frightening.

Honorable mentions :-

1. UP

Simple and effective. Makes you hungry for more. One of the few teasers in cinema history that makes you go "WTF?"

2. Cloud Atlas

Because if at all a trailer in this world deserves the word "epic"`s this one.

3. The Dark Knight

A logo of batman..background of some of the best dialogues from the movie that explain the basic theme of this film..batman logo disappears and we get a glimpse of the joker card.


Not a teaser nor a trailer, just a movie promo video. But quite a unique and hilarious one

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Nobody panics when things go according to plans

You know what i noticed.Nobody panics when things go "according to plan".Even if the plan is horrifying.In the civil war going on since last year in Syria, many civilians lost their life.People were being killed on streets.
Believe it or not more than 20,000 people died in the civil war.There were about 400 children who were sent to prison and were tortured there.

Nobody panics.Most don`t even bother to look about it in the news.Because its all part of the plan.

But if a mere dozen moviegoers from colarado get shot then everyone starts losing their mind.

So what possible logical reason could it be that we are shaken by the Colorado shooting but don`t give a shit about the massive Syrian civil war victims?
Answer is that we assume that such things can happen only in a country like Syria and that can never happen to us. But if 12 people get shot in a fun place like a cinema theater then we panic. We panic and start to assume that "this could happen to us too". So we are not really sad for those 12 people who got shot in colarado. We are worried about it because that could have happen to us while we were going to a theater too.
Ultimately we are all self-centered douchebags.

The Joker claps at our society`s hypocrisy.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Bollywood directors who make the same film again & again

How to make a Imitiaz Ali film :-

Abhay-Ayesha separate because of family tension

Kareena goes to meet her boyfriend leaving shahid

Saif leaves to pursur his career

Nargis goes to prague for her marriage

Even in Cocktail this concept was used.

All of Imitiaz Ali`s films are not only of the same genre but are also quite repetitive in terms of plot.They usually involve two protagonists who are characteristically different and possess different ideologies in life with usually one being the extrovert and the other being the introvert.
They meet....flirt around....fall in love but don`t know that yet..distance happens.During this distance the introvert`s life is totally changed and he/she becomes an extrovert now. While the previous extrovert person is either devastated or is leading a boring life.They both meet back and realize how different they have become.Fall in true love. Fin.

Most of his characters are also shown to be afraid of commitment.
Socha na tha-Abhay was afraid of committing with his anglo Indian girlfriend.
Jab we met-Kareena was shown to be afraid to commit during the 2nd half.
Love aaj kal-Both! The film was basically about Saif`s fear of commitment.
Rockstar-Nargis in the entire 2nd half.
Cocktail-Diana penty`s character.

How to make a Shirish Kunder film:-
Now granted that Tees Maar Khan is a Farah Khan direction but you have to admit that the brains(or rather the lack of it) was totally Shirish! So I am including TMK in this comparison. All three Shirish`s films(including the upcoming Joker) are about a likable protagonist who has a issue and in order to solve it creates an epic con game.

In Jaan-e-mann Salman had to give money to Preity because of the divorce clauses...lack of money resulted in Salman faking Akshay to be a "cool dude" and setting up a trap for preity to fall in love with Akshay.

In TMK akshay wants to steal some goods. So pretends to be a filmmaker who fakes an entire production film unit just to steal the goods.

While I have`nt seen Joker yet but the plot is pretty obvious from the promos.Now here is how embarrassingly similar the plot of Joker is when compared to TMK.
1)The lovable hero played by Akshay in both
Village isnt recognized by the country-Wants to steal goods from train
3)Con game begins:-
Sets up fake UFO-Sets up fake production unit
4)Both are set in villages and all of the villagers join in the con game(compromising of 2 dozen out of work flop actors and 1 irritating supporting actor Khanna/Talpade)5)The whole fake set up creates loads of confusion causing a comic chaos

How to make a Rajkumar Hirani film:-
Hirani films are too sweet. No,literally sweet. Infact they are so sweet that people get diabetes just by watching his films. All his films are about goody-goody people preaching goody-goody stuffs to win your heart and also get box office gold.All the supporting characters in his films seem to be deluded or doing something wrong while the lead acts as a saint going to each one of them giving them advice.
While it is completely fine to use this concept for 1 or 2 films or to atleast limit it to the Munnabhai franchise, Hirani uses this formula in all four films of his. I was watching 3 idiots in which there was a scene where Madhavan confronts his dad about his love for photography and why he isn`t interested in pursuing engineering leading to a heart-warming tearjerker moment. That scene somehow reminded me of something. Weeks later i realized what it reminded me of. There is an exact same scene in lage raho munnabhai with Jimmy confronting his dad. In 3I his friends persist Madhavan to tell the truth to his dad about why he doesn`t care about engineering while in LRMB Sanjay persists Jimmy to tell the truth to the same dad about the money.Hirani did`nt even bother to use a different  actor!

At times it is heart-warming but at times it can be too sweet to digest. In ferrari ki sawaari, Sharman breaks a traffic law and goes all by himself to the cops to pay fine. When the traffic cop told him to forget about it Sharman insisted on paying the fine saying that his son would get spoiled seeing his dad not pay the fine.Because you know..that`s how normal people behave.

How to make a Rohit Shetty film:-
Does this need an elaboration?
Funny premise+car explosion+confusion+Loud background music+more cars explosion+marati touch+spoof of popular films+cars explosion...remove all the confusion and replace them with prakash raj and u get Singham.

How to make a Madhur Bhandarkar film:-
Madhur is by far the worst offender of making the same kind of films again and again.He first selects a particular theme(corporate or bollywood or fashion) and shows how corrupted it is.He choses a highly ambitious female protagonist.She meets experienced people of that field who are corrupted yet practical. They use dialogues like "ye bollywood hai..yahaan pe sab aise hi chalta hai". There would be 2-3 gay characters.Protagonist springs to the top through talent and manipulation.Gets completely intoxicated by the fame/power/money.Starts to become a crack addict.Sleeps with a nigger.Life turns tragic.Media writes mean  things about her.But in the end our heroine turns practical and bounces back amidst corrupted industry.

The people who consider his films realistic are the same people who saw pulp fiction and thought that Travolta reappearing again after his death scene is illogical.

How to make a Sanjay Gupta film:-
1.Steal a hollywood film`s script
2.Add sanjay dutt in a badass role
3.Add a suitable color filter
Green-Kaante, Yellow-Musafir, Grey-Zinda, Red-Woodstock villa

How to make a Sanjay Bhansali film:-
1.Steal a script
2.Use unnecessarily huge and costly sets.
3.Add a color filter. Devdas/Hddcs-red,Sawariya-blue, Guzarish-Grey, Black-Black.[Khamoshi is his most colorful film till date]
4.Claim that it`s an artistic film

How to make a Mohit Suri film:-
1.Add Emraan Hashmi (duh)
2.Steal a Korean script(because stealing Hollywood scripts is way too mainstream)
3.Steal the poster from a different film
4.Make emraan hashmi to suffer moral dilemma scenarios..let Emraan play the one who has done alot of shit in his life and now wants to do something good to redeem himself so that the audience will sympathize with him in the end.

And as for our Sajid Khan:-
Akshay kumar+Animal jokes+confusion+shit jokes+fart jokes+ reteish deshmukh