Thursday, July 26, 2012

Bollywood directors who make the same film again & again

How to make a Imitiaz Ali film :-

Abhay-Ayesha separate because of family tension

Kareena goes to meet her boyfriend leaving shahid

Saif leaves to pursur his career

Nargis goes to prague for her marriage

Even in Cocktail this concept was used.

All of Imitiaz Ali`s films are not only of the same genre but are also quite repetitive in terms of plot.They usually involve two protagonists who are characteristically different and possess different ideologies in life with usually one being the extrovert and the other being the introvert.
They meet....flirt around....fall in love but don`t know that yet..distance happens.During this distance the introvert`s life is totally changed and he/she becomes an extrovert now. While the previous extrovert person is either devastated or is leading a boring life.They both meet back and realize how different they have become.Fall in true love. Fin.

Most of his characters are also shown to be afraid of commitment.
Socha na tha-Abhay was afraid of committing with his anglo Indian girlfriend.
Jab we met-Kareena was shown to be afraid to commit during the 2nd half.
Love aaj kal-Both! The film was basically about Saif`s fear of commitment.
Rockstar-Nargis in the entire 2nd half.
Cocktail-Diana penty`s character.

How to make a Shirish Kunder film:-
Now granted that Tees Maar Khan is a Farah Khan direction but you have to admit that the brains(or rather the lack of it) was totally Shirish! So I am including TMK in this comparison. All three Shirish`s films(including the upcoming Joker) are about a likable protagonist who has a issue and in order to solve it creates an epic con game.

In Jaan-e-mann Salman had to give money to Preity because of the divorce clauses...lack of money resulted in Salman faking Akshay to be a "cool dude" and setting up a trap for preity to fall in love with Akshay.

In TMK akshay wants to steal some goods. So pretends to be a filmmaker who fakes an entire production film unit just to steal the goods.

While I have`nt seen Joker yet but the plot is pretty obvious from the promos.Now here is how embarrassingly similar the plot of Joker is when compared to TMK.
1)The lovable hero played by Akshay in both
Village isnt recognized by the country-Wants to steal goods from train
3)Con game begins:-
Sets up fake UFO-Sets up fake production unit
4)Both are set in villages and all of the villagers join in the con game(compromising of 2 dozen out of work flop actors and 1 irritating supporting actor Khanna/Talpade)5)The whole fake set up creates loads of confusion causing a comic chaos

How to make a Rajkumar Hirani film:-
Hirani films are too sweet. No,literally sweet. Infact they are so sweet that people get diabetes just by watching his films. All his films are about goody-goody people preaching goody-goody stuffs to win your heart and also get box office gold.All the supporting characters in his films seem to be deluded or doing something wrong while the lead acts as a saint going to each one of them giving them advice.
While it is completely fine to use this concept for 1 or 2 films or to atleast limit it to the Munnabhai franchise, Hirani uses this formula in all four films of his. I was watching 3 idiots in which there was a scene where Madhavan confronts his dad about his love for photography and why he isn`t interested in pursuing engineering leading to a heart-warming tearjerker moment. That scene somehow reminded me of something. Weeks later i realized what it reminded me of. There is an exact same scene in lage raho munnabhai with Jimmy confronting his dad. In 3I his friends persist Madhavan to tell the truth to his dad about why he doesn`t care about engineering while in LRMB Sanjay persists Jimmy to tell the truth to the same dad about the money.Hirani did`nt even bother to use a different  actor!

At times it is heart-warming but at times it can be too sweet to digest. In ferrari ki sawaari, Sharman breaks a traffic law and goes all by himself to the cops to pay fine. When the traffic cop told him to forget about it Sharman insisted on paying the fine saying that his son would get spoiled seeing his dad not pay the fine.Because you know..that`s how normal people behave.

How to make a Rohit Shetty film:-
Does this need an elaboration?
Funny premise+car explosion+confusion+Loud background music+more cars explosion+marati touch+spoof of popular films+cars explosion...remove all the confusion and replace them with prakash raj and u get Singham.

How to make a Madhur Bhandarkar film:-
Madhur is by far the worst offender of making the same kind of films again and again.He first selects a particular theme(corporate or bollywood or fashion) and shows how corrupted it is.He choses a highly ambitious female protagonist.She meets experienced people of that field who are corrupted yet practical. They use dialogues like "ye bollywood hai..yahaan pe sab aise hi chalta hai". There would be 2-3 gay characters.Protagonist springs to the top through talent and manipulation.Gets completely intoxicated by the fame/power/money.Starts to become a crack addict.Sleeps with a nigger.Life turns tragic.Media writes mean  things about her.But in the end our heroine turns practical and bounces back amidst corrupted industry.

The people who consider his films realistic are the same people who saw pulp fiction and thought that Travolta reappearing again after his death scene is illogical.

How to make a Sanjay Gupta film:-
1.Steal a hollywood film`s script
2.Add sanjay dutt in a badass role
3.Add a suitable color filter
Green-Kaante, Yellow-Musafir, Grey-Zinda, Red-Woodstock villa

How to make a Sanjay Bhansali film:-
1.Steal a script
2.Use unnecessarily huge and costly sets.
3.Add a color filter. Devdas/Hddcs-red,Sawariya-blue, Guzarish-Grey, Black-Black.[Khamoshi is his most colorful film till date]
4.Claim that it`s an artistic film

How to make a Mohit Suri film:-
1.Add Emraan Hashmi (duh)
2.Steal a Korean script(because stealing Hollywood scripts is way too mainstream)
3.Steal the poster from a different film
4.Make emraan hashmi to suffer moral dilemma scenarios..let Emraan play the one who has done alot of shit in his life and now wants to do something good to redeem himself so that the audience will sympathize with him in the end.

And as for our Sajid Khan:-
Akshay kumar+Animal jokes+confusion+shit jokes+fart jokes+ reteish deshmukh