Friday, July 30, 2010

We don`t care about your farm !

Farmville is one of the infamous "50 worst inventions of all time" declared by TIME magazine recently.Well i totally agree with them, farmville is nothing but a waste of time.

I have never been to farmville myself,so while researching about this "farmville" i came to learn some shocking facts like...

-Surveys show that the number of farmville users in US alone outnumbers the number of real farmers to a shocking ratio of 80:1.

-Farmville is a data-mining application which simply means that it has access to all your information and this has been admitted by zynga.

-Farmville seduces users to spend real money on virtual property! Can`t wait to get that red tractor? A credit card is all you need! The design of the game is such that it will lead you to frustration causing the users to spend real money for virtual stuffs.

Do check this news article:-

Farmville is the most widely used application in facebook and has about 60 million users.So how did it get to be so popular? By spamming! People get like around 50-60 farmville JOIN requests with messages like "kumar has sent you a gift,Won`t you like to send him a gift back?" and a "join farmville" button below this message.The user unaware clicks on it and *BANG* gets sucked into it and thinks its cool to pursue virtual farming cause all his friends are doing it.

As if this isn`t agonizing enough,the virtual farmers further continue spamming by publishing each and every activity of theirs on their wall.IF you even masturbate in your farm a message pops-up asking if you would like to share it with your friends that you just jerked-off and encourage them to become your neighbors so as to jerk-off together" and some of the activities are really gay like "Momo found a lost pink cow on their farm. Oh no!
Momo was farming when a sad, pink cow wandered onto their farm in FarmVille." cow??? WTF!
Although the non-farmville users went on to BLOCK farmville updates,these virtual farmers created havoc by spamming about their farm via status messages(cause of which i had to remove some of my friends and class mates)

A large number of virtual Indian farmers(21,000 to be precise) have even went on to sign a petition(fuck this world!!) to introduce an "Indian flag" to their farms(Gandhi would have been proud), so apparently it has become a patriotic issue now.What these people don`t realise is that the more productive time these people waste,the more money ZYNGA company makes cause of advertisement.

The reason for Farmville addiction is same as the reason why Indian women are addicted to saas-bahu serials(They both stttrrreeetttccch things).Now you plant a crop and than you have to harvest it but you can harvest it only after it is ripe and so the user has to keep checking and re-checking his farm till they are ripe else all the crops he has planted will become a waste! So every time you login farmville and plant a crop, you are making a virtual commitment to login back 12 hours later to harvest them.

Farmville is becoming more of an addiction than a timepass game.Of course Farmville is just a fad which will eventually go away(hopefully soon)and people will start to suck into some new fad just like how orkut-addicts left orkut and became facebook-addicts publishing status messages like "orkut sucks" after which they shifted to twitter and started tweeting "facebook sucks". Look around farmers, maybe there are people in real life who need you more than your virtual crops!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Indians and their low self-esteem

While going through some forums I had seen someone asking this question "What if films like inception and prestige were made in India"...I for one couldn’t imagine the catastrophe it would create [check my article ANTI-REVIEW OF INCEPTION] since INCEPTION is a Hollywood film no one would dare question stealing thoughts/dreams invasion etc.There was another time when I had a debate with one of my Hollywood-fan friend..I asked him his opinion on the film NO SMOKING and he told me that it was trash. This surprised me because he was a huge fan of director David Lynch(most of his films are like NO SMOKING!) and he even praised an average film like Slumdog millionaire(which was a mockery of India`s poverty and low self-esteem)

When I wondered what could be the reason for all this, I came across this very thought-provoking picture in the internet

For those who cannot view the pic..."I have travelled across the length and breadth of India and I have not see one person who is a beggar, who is a thief, such wealth I have seen in this country, such high moral values, people of such caliber, that I do not think we would ever conquer this country, unless we break the very backbone of this nation, which is her spiritual and cultural heritage, and, therefore, I propose that we replace her old and ancient education system, her culture, for the Indians think that all that is foreign and English is good and greater than their own, they will lose their self-esteem, their native culture and they will become what we want them, a truly dominated nation".

These were the exact words by Lord Macaulay in his speech to the British Parliament in 1835.

Isn’t it true? Don`t we have a very low self esteem about us?
Remember India was the richest country in the WORLD before British invasion. During the 17`th century almost 25% of the World Industrial output was produced in India (Now it isn’t even 2%).Indian civilization is far ahead of the British and American civilization.

I have always heard from people that "save water" "save money" "save electricity", never heard "solve he water problem", "earn more money" "generate electricity". The result... we never dream, never think of the possibilities and never think beyond our means! It is high time that we should stop under-estimating our capabilities and traditional values and stop destroying the left over tradition just because our minds have been westernised.It is high time that we actually be PROUD to be an Indian.

You would like to check this link too..

Thursday, July 22, 2010

On Johnny Depp and Leonardo DiCaprio

While the former is a method actor and the latter is a natural actor, both are arguably the top two best actors at present in Hollywood in terms of both Acting and Stardom.Lets analyse their career together...

1.Both started with TV

While Johnny starred in 21 jump street,Leonardo starred in TV series` like parenthood

2.Both have their favourite director

Johnny has worked with Tim in seven films while Leonardo has worked with Martin in four films.

3.What`s eating Gilbert Grape

The movie in which both starred together.Although Depp was in the lead and the movie is primarily about him,it was Leonardo who stole the hearts of the audience with an amazing portrayal of an autistic kid.

Incidentally Johnny played an autistic person in a film which released in the same year titled BENNY&JOON.

4.Oscar Nominees

Both have earned three oscar nominees each but yet to win one.While JD got oscar nominees for Pirates of the carrebean,Sweeney Todd and Finding Neverland, LDC got them for What`s eating Gilbert grape,Aviator and blood diamond.
Infact both were in competition in the same year for Finding Neverland and Aviator(Jamie Foxx-RAY ended up winning the gold)

5.Similar Roles:
Apart from playing autistic/asperger`s syndrome role in benny&joon and WEGG respectively,both have played many similar roles like..

playing Under-cover cops in DONNIE BRASCO and DEPARTED.


Also both JD and LDC have enacted real life director`s biopics on screen.They played Edward wood(ed wood) and Hughes(aviator) respectively.Infact in a Woody allen film called CELEBRITY Leonardo had a cameo where he played a role which was kind of like Johnny depp!

6.All-time Blockbusters

While Titanic was such a huge hit only cause of James cameron`s magic,POTC is an atbb only and only cause of Jack Sparrow...oops,Captain Jack Sparrow! Leonardo has just one film among the all time hits and JD has 3-Alice in wonderland,potc2 and potc3 clearly indicating who the bigger star is.
If you observe their career graph you would notice one thing-Leonardo choses scripts based on how the film is overall while Depp choses scripts based on his character and acting scope in that film.

Leonardo works with cult directors most of the time even if the role is similar(shutter island-inception) or does`nt have much scope(gangs of new york).Whereas in Johnny`s case he choses films only if he truly believes in it and only if the character that he plays interests him.

Both have an enviable career-graph and its up to you to decide whom you like more...but it is without a doubt that these two are miles ahead of the others when it comes to both acting and stardom.

Monday, July 19, 2010

INCEPTION - An Anti- Review

Inception was on my most awaited movies list ever since the first trailer.After watching the FDFS show , i thought "who am i to write the review of inception?"
And so here am comes for the very first time ---An Anti-Review of INCEPTION!

Inception is the new film from the zero time oscar award winner Christopher Nolan ,starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Ellen Page.I have lots of problems with this film, for starters the director fails to connect with the audience properly.Cinema is basically about the three E`s - educate,enlighten and entertain! But Christopher Nolan fails to enlighten or educate and lets forget about entertainment!! You try so hard to understand what INCEPTION tries to say, but the film is like one big puzzle that refuses to get solved.Watching INCEPTION is like sitting inside a gas chamber- that`s right a big torture!

INCEPTION leaves you exasperated and disgusted. Exasperated, because till the end credits roll, you just don’t know what happened in those 2 hours. Disgusted, because Nolan had a solid cast [Leo,Ellen,Cotillard,Caine,Joseph] and big production house[Warner bros] at his disposal. Yet, he couldn’t pull it off.

The only aspect that INCEPTION stands out is the special effects which are few and far in between.There is a kiss scene between Joseph and Ellen which is`nt properly shown, what a waste!In the climax of the film the editor cut the scene which would have showed whether Leonardo`s METAL TOP continued spinning or came to a rest leaving the audience to confusion.Moreover they do not show whether Ellen Page falls in love with Joseph Gordan at the end of the film or not-what a complete waste of a heroine!

There are many illogical scenes like the scene where Leonardo and Ellen enter into a lift and when they come out a beach appears.The director obviously left his brain behind while making this film.The editing and screenplay are the weakest point of the film where multiple layers of boring dream sequences are shown incoherently.The director is also not clear whether Marion Cotillard plays a negative or positive character in this film and thereby confusing the audience even more.

On the whole,INCEPTION is a strict one time watch just for the star cast and special effects.In the box office it will have a good opening because of Leonardo DiCaprio but will fail to sustain the audience in the long run.



Yes thats right, This would what an indian film critic review would look like if someone from Bollywood would have made an Inception!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Why piracy is a good thing !

Here are some reasons why i consider piracy of music,movies,software etc a good thing!

1. It is cheap: Your dad does a lot of hard work in earning his income.You can do him a huge favour by spending just 30 bucks for an "inglourious bastereds" pirated DVD rather than buying the 500 bucks original DVD.Respect Money.

2.Easily available: Sad but true, at most places pirated foreign languages film DVD`s are more easily available than the original ones.

3.May save you money from buying utter crap: You must have been a big ricky martin fan during 90`s but his latest album is crap! If you would have spent the 500 bucks that a ricky martin music CD costs,you would regret alot if the music is`nt good. Instead if you just hear them online and feel its crap there won`t be any regret, just sympathy for poor ricky.

4.Increases popularity of talented musicians: Many of us would prefer buying a MNIK or 3 IDIOTS music CD over dev-d cause we buy CD`s depending on who the star is!(in 90% of cases) and hence most of them would`nt have heard of amit trivedi if music piracy did`nt exist.Now that amit has got a cult following, he is getting a lot of huge offers!

5.It does`nt affect the artist: FACT:A music artist earns more from concerts and merchandise than the actual sales of his cd`s and moreover these artists earn in millions so it just won`t make a huge difference to them.

6. You become a hero among your friends: Got the dvd of 'alice in wonderland' a week before its release??? Share it with your friends, you will be a hero among them! Share it with female johnny depp fans and you may even get to have sex with them.

Top ten best image editing web-sites

Don`t have any clue on how to use photoshop? Always wished that you could edit some of your pics to make it cool and share it with your friends?

Here`s some of the best easy image editing sites on net...










Friday, July 16, 2010

Types of people in FacebooK

Facebook is a site which is filled with stereo-typical ppl!!
Here`s a list of fb-stereotypes lurking around FB~
surely you would identify some of your friends with these....and if u r a FB addict,u might even identify yourself with one of them ;)

1. The emosanal atyachaar:

There is always this one guy who writes in his status about how sad his break up was or how the one girl he loves doesn`t even know he existed! Such people even tend to write poems on their grief

2.Ugly people who used to look cute when they were kids:

Such people never upload their personal photos on FB....EVER! and after staying on Fb for a couple of weeks, they would upload a photo of theirs when they used to be a 3 yr old kid.
They think it would look cute but its actually disgusting!

3.The gamer:

The farmville,mafia wars,yoville etc etc addicts come under this category! I have reached 12`th level of gayville...i have reached 12 1/2 `th level of gayville...they need to publish each and every thing about their activities in these APPS to lure people to join and help harvest their crops(craps)

4.The lesbian:

Surely one of the worst of all! These are girls who upload cartoon pictures in their album and TAG every tom,dick and harry in it. Their other girl friends(bff) posts comments under it like "ohh shooo cuteee" "you rock girl" "i ♥ u" etc
Further more such girls tend to post status messages on how rockin their life style is...or how they had so much fun in last night`s party!

5.Tweets like a tiger but talks like a pussycat:

These are people who post well rehearsed-brave thoughts on social and political issues just to how fuckin` awesome their attitude is. They claim to be individual and brave that they post status and twitter updates cause they are too scared to stand up to person in real life.

6. The Betal:

These are people who follow around whatever you do in facebook.They comment or like each and every status of yours.

7.The News reporter:

"omg michaeeelllllll jackson is dead :((( RIP :(((( " "omg its first death anniversary of michaelllllll rip :(((((" Such people are the ones who browse around net or news channel and when they get any info about anyone popular...the first thing they do is post a status update with couple of smileys in it.It is because of people like these that most of us youths get to know about breaking news around the world through facebook/twitter and not through tv.These people will see to it that they are the first ones to upload breaking news on their status.

8.The types who publish about every minute of their life:

"just had breakfast! yummyyy" "on my way to college sigh :( " "got a text from my bf blush blush" "nowplaying-ringa ringa roses"
They just want the whole world to know each and every detail of their pathetic boring life!

9. The frannnnndshippers:
These are those hippies in facebook who randomly add or randomly accept anyone and everyone in facebook,these people tend to have as much as 2000 friends in their list! What r u? johnny depp???Mostly such people`s popularity in real world is inversely proportional to the number of friends they have in facebook

10.The Cryto-types:-
They are the worst!! These are people who type cryptic status messages to lure people to comment under their status. "ooohhh got a luv letter from a certain someone :'> " "blah blah blah,status dedicated to the one i love :-)"

These are people who write supposedly mysterious status messages in order to get comments like "wowww who is he/she?" under their status messages. Such people even tend to wait for minutes refreshing their status page repeatedly to check if they have got any comments!!!

There you go!!
These are ten kinds of stereo-types i have personally observed while i was in facebook.