Saturday, September 1, 2012

Top 15 best Hollywood movie teaser trailers




I believe that making a great teaser or trailer for a movie is an art in itself. Because it has the power to make a stupid film look awesome and an awesome film look stupid. There are many outrageously bad trailers of movies like godfather 2 which just goes ahead and ruins the entire goddamn film. No seriously, it was like the guy was searching out for all the possible spoilers in the film to spoil it for all of us. And then there are great teaser/trailers like...


15. Inception

The world was curious as to what Nolan had up his sleeve after the highly acclaimed Dark Knight. A spinning top..goosebump inducing music..tilting glass of water..a great tagline..joseph gordan levitt fighting in some kind of anti-gravity hallway..and the title "INCEPTION".Gives us not a clue about the plot and yet very few teasers in recent past created so much excitement without giving away anything.




14. Austin Powers and the spy who shagged me

During the summer of 1999 the most hyped and the most talked about movie by far was the star wars prequel. Star wars had a huge huge fanbase and no one cared about any of the other summer releases in 1999. So in such conditions what do the makers of this austin powers film do? Well..they come out with this trailer.






13.Terminator 2

Previously films used to have new footage that were shot specially for teasers and trailers. Sadly this is a dying art. Check out the teaser for terminator 2 which showed us how terminators are made.





12. Superman Returns 

Marlon Brando`s narration..brandon routh..the brilliant background music..this just could`nt get better. Sorry Zack Snyder, but your superman teasers are no match to this one.





11. Jurassic Park

For the first time, man and dinosaur shared the earth. And this happened at a place called...



10. Social Network

This is one of those teasers you would probably like more after you saw the movie.This teaser basically says the entire story of the movie in facebook format(and yet this doesn`t seem spoilerish at all) and ends with the best dialogue in the whole film.


9. Miracle on 34`th street

Extremely innovative especially considering that they thought of this in the 1940s.It takes place outside the world of the movie and into the production studio with a funny ironic end.One of those trailers that`s a short film in itself.



8. Cloverfield

Oh look its some kinda handheld camera shot scene of some party...oh wait looks like there`s some kind of danger happenning in the distant..is it an alien attack? HOLLYYYYYY FUCKKKK IS THAT THE STATUE OF LIBERTY?!


7. Minus Man

You probably haven`t seen this movie. Hell you probably wouldn`t have even heard of this movie.But this trailer has to be the most innovative trailer ever made!
It involves people who have nothing to do with the film. These are two audience members who just came out out of the screening of this film and can`t stop talking about it.What starts out in a breezy fashion ends with a dark note. Must watch.



6. Comedian

Comedian is a little known documentry by Jerry Seinfeld. Just watch this unique gem of a teaser. "No i like it in here" sheer genius i tell you.


5. A Clockwork Orange

Bizaare..just like Kubrick himself.



4. Dr.Strangelove or How i learned to stop worrying and love the bomb

Let`s be frank here..some of Kubrick`s film trailers alone are better than most modern films.



3. Alien

Creepy eerie music..visuals of outer space(quite an offbeat setting for a horror flick)..more creepy visuals..ending with what i consider the best tagline for a movie in hollywood history. Perfectamundo.

2. The Shining

It is quite shocking to see how so much impact can be achieved with just one setting.OK fine, no more kubrick films in this list.



1. The Exorcist

Probably no movie trailer in the history of hollywood ever created such a huge impact as much as this one. When this was screened in the previews in movie theatres during the 70s people were scared out of their wits.Alot of people just ran away through the exit after seeing the scary black and white visuals here.Many theatres ended up baning this trailer as it was too frightening.



Honorable mentions :-

1. UP

Simple and effective. Makes you hungry for more. One of the few teasers in cinema history that makes you go "WTF?"



2. Cloud Atlas

Because if at all a trailer in this world deserves the word "epic"..it`s this one.


3. The Dark Knight

A logo of batman..background of some of the best dialogues from the movie that explain the basic theme of this film..batman logo disappears and we get a glimpse of the joker card.

BONUS :-

Not a teaser nor a trailer, just a movie promo video. But quite a unique and hilarious one



Saturday, August 11, 2012

Nobody panics when things go according to plans




You know what i noticed.Nobody panics when things go "according to plan".Even if the plan is horrifying.In the civil war going on since last year in Syria, many civilians lost their life.People were being killed on streets.
Believe it or not more than 20,000 people died in the civil war.There were about 400 children who were sent to prison and were tortured there.


Nobody panics.Most don`t even bother to look about it in the news.Because its all part of the plan.

But if a mere dozen moviegoers from colarado get shot then everyone starts losing their mind.

So what possible logical reason could it be that we are shaken by the Colorado shooting but don`t give a shit about the massive Syrian civil war victims?
Answer is that we assume that such things can happen only in a country like Syria and that can never happen to us. But if 12 people get shot in a fun place like a cinema theater then we panic. We panic and start to assume that "this could happen to us too". So we are not really sad for those 12 people who got shot in colarado. We are worried about it because that could have happen to us while we were going to a theater too.
Ultimately we are all self-centered douchebags.

The Joker claps at our society`s hypocrisy.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Bollywood directors who make the same film again & again




How to make a Imitiaz Ali film :-



Distance:-
Abhay-Ayesha separate because of family tension

Kareena goes to meet her boyfriend leaving shahid

Saif leaves to pursur his career

Nargis goes to prague for her marriage

Even in Cocktail this concept was used.

All of Imitiaz Ali`s films are not only of the same genre but are also quite repetitive in terms of plot.They usually involve two protagonists who are characteristically different and possess different ideologies in life with usually one being the extrovert and the other being the introvert.
They meet....flirt around....fall in love but don`t know that yet..distance happens.During this distance the introvert`s life is totally changed and he/she becomes an extrovert now. While the previous extrovert person is either devastated or is leading a boring life.They both meet back and realize how different they have become.Fall in true love. Fin.

Most of his characters are also shown to be afraid of commitment.
Socha na tha-Abhay was afraid of committing with his anglo Indian girlfriend.
Jab we met-Kareena was shown to be afraid to commit during the 2nd half.
Love aaj kal-Both! The film was basically about Saif`s fear of commitment.
Rockstar-Nargis in the entire 2nd half.
Cocktail-Diana penty`s character.


How to make a Shirish Kunder film:-
Now granted that Tees Maar Khan is a Farah Khan direction but you have to admit that the brains(or rather the lack of it) was totally Shirish! So I am including TMK in this comparison. All three Shirish`s films(including the upcoming Joker) are about a likable protagonist who has a issue and in order to solve it creates an epic con game.

In Jaan-e-mann Salman had to give money to Preity because of the divorce clauses...lack of money resulted in Salman faking Akshay to be a "cool dude" and setting up a trap for preity to fall in love with Akshay.

In TMK akshay wants to steal some goods. So pretends to be a filmmaker who fakes an entire production film unit just to steal the goods.

While I have`nt seen Joker yet but the plot is pretty obvious from the promos.Now here is how embarrassingly similar the plot of Joker is when compared to TMK.
1)The lovable hero played by Akshay in both
2)Issue:
Village isnt recognized by the country-Wants to steal goods from train
3)Con game begins:-
Sets up fake UFO-Sets up fake production unit
4)Both are set in villages and all of the villagers join in the con game(compromising of 2 dozen out of work flop actors and 1 irritating supporting actor Khanna/Talpade)5)The whole fake set up creates loads of confusion causing a comic chaos


How to make a Rajkumar Hirani film:-
Hirani films are too sweet. No,literally sweet. Infact they are so sweet that people get diabetes just by watching his films. All his films are about goody-goody people preaching goody-goody stuffs to win your heart and also get box office gold.All the supporting characters in his films seem to be deluded or doing something wrong while the lead acts as a saint going to each one of them giving them advice.
While it is completely fine to use this concept for 1 or 2 films or to atleast limit it to the Munnabhai franchise, Hirani uses this formula in all four films of his. I was watching 3 idiots in which there was a scene where Madhavan confronts his dad about his love for photography and why he isn`t interested in pursuing engineering leading to a heart-warming tearjerker moment. That scene somehow reminded me of something. Weeks later i realized what it reminded me of. There is an exact same scene in lage raho munnabhai with Jimmy confronting his dad. In 3I his friends persist Madhavan to tell the truth to his dad about why he doesn`t care about engineering while in LRMB Sanjay persists Jimmy to tell the truth to the same dad about the money.Hirani did`nt even bother to use a different  actor!


At times it is heart-warming but at times it can be too sweet to digest. In ferrari ki sawaari, Sharman breaks a traffic law and goes all by himself to the cops to pay fine. When the traffic cop told him to forget about it Sharman insisted on paying the fine saying that his son would get spoiled seeing his dad not pay the fine.Because you know..that`s how normal people behave.

How to make a Rohit Shetty film:-
Does this need an elaboration?
Funny premise+car explosion+confusion+Loud background music+more cars explosion+marati touch+spoof of popular films+cars explosion...remove all the confusion and replace them with prakash raj and u get Singham.


How to make a Madhur Bhandarkar film:-
Madhur is by far the worst offender of making the same kind of films again and again.He first selects a particular theme(corporate or bollywood or fashion) and shows how corrupted it is.He choses a highly ambitious female protagonist.She meets experienced people of that field who are corrupted yet practical. They use dialogues like "ye bollywood hai..yahaan pe sab aise hi chalta hai". There would be 2-3 gay characters.Protagonist springs to the top through talent and manipulation.Gets completely intoxicated by the fame/power/money.Starts to become a crack addict.Sleeps with a nigger.Life turns tragic.Media writes mean  things about her.But in the end our heroine turns practical and bounces back amidst corrupted industry.

The people who consider his films realistic are the same people who saw pulp fiction and thought that Travolta reappearing again after his death scene is illogical.

How to make a Sanjay Gupta film:-
1.Steal a hollywood film`s script
2.Add sanjay dutt in a badass role
3.Add a suitable color filter
Green-Kaante, Yellow-Musafir, Grey-Zinda, Red-Woodstock villa



How to make a Sanjay Bhansali film:-
1.Steal a script
2.Use unnecessarily huge and costly sets.
3.Add a color filter. Devdas/Hddcs-red,Sawariya-blue, Guzarish-Grey, Black-Black.[Khamoshi is his most colorful film till date]
4.Claim that it`s an artistic film



How to make a Mohit Suri film:-
1.Add Emraan Hashmi (duh)
2.Steal a Korean script(because stealing Hollywood scripts is way too mainstream)
3.Steal the poster from a different film
4.Make emraan hashmi to suffer moral dilemma scenarios..let Emraan play the one who has done alot of shit in his life and now wants to do something good to redeem himself so that the audience will sympathize with him in the end.

And as for our Sajid Khan:-
Akshay kumar+Animal jokes+confusion+shit jokes+fart jokes+ reteish deshmukh


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

7 Pixar classic movies that are completely ripoffs

Pixar is unarguably considered as the best animation stupid since invention of animation. Almost all of their films are huge successes both critically and commercially. Most of Pixar fanboys even claim that the films coming out of pixar are original. Well are they? Let`s find out...

1. UP

The scene where the angry gay(it`s played by Christopher Plummer so duh) old man from UP flies off along with his home towards the sky is arguably the best scene of the film and also the turning point of the film. The way the entire scene is written and when the house goes "up" leaves the viewer shocked in a very good way. It has to be one of the best original scenes written in recent cinema history,right?

WRONG


"Above then beyond" is a short film from France. No more words needed, just watch the video below. Even some of the shots are similar. However the poignant ending of this short film makes it quite realistic,sad,tragic and overall much more superior and artistic when compared to the ripped off scene in UP. It would have been depressing and classy if the makers of UP had used this ending in their film.However they did`nt (probably for business reasons..who the hell would pay to watch a tragic animated film?) and instead made up a whole new commercial film based on this video.














2. The Incredibles

Incredibles has garnered huge critical acclaim ever since its release. It is rated 8 in IMDB and is in the top 250 top movies ranking. It has scored 97% in rotten tomatoes.It has won the oscar for the ebst animated film and also was nominated for an original screenpaly oscar. Must be an original gem,right?

WRONG

The entire outline of incredibles is heavily ripped off from the popular marvel comic FANTASTIC FOUR(and not just the fact that both are about a family of superheroes)
Just have a look at the characters..

Mr Fantastic the authoritative figure of the group can stretch,re-shape,bend,twist his body to whatever shape he wants.

















Same as Elasti girl who can also stretch,bend,re-shape herself and is the authoritative figure of the group.



Invisible Woman has the ability to manipulate light to render herself invisible to others.As per wiki,She later develops the ability to generate force fields which she uses for variety of effects.









Same as Violet of Incredibles who can instantly turn invisible and as per wiki has the ability to generate "spherical force fields".



The Thing which looks like what would happen if the hulk was addicted to fanta has super human strength and is also filled with self pity and self loathing over his existence.oh and he is also the most loyal member of the group


















Just like Mr Incredible who has super human strength and also found forced retirement difficult to handle.



Johnny Storm the coolest member of the group has the ability to project fire from his body and in his earlier days used to be a affectionately obnoxious and a rebellious brash.











Just like Jack-Jack the youngest child who has shown instances of having the fire power and Dash who is a super-brat and can run really fast.


Apparently the makers of fantastic four-the movie were forced to make script changes because of the resemblance with incredibles that released a year earlier.


3.FINDING NEMO

Finding Nemo is another pixar oscar winning classic. Finding Nemo is rated 8.1 in Imdb and has a 98% rating in rotten tomatoes. Easily one of the most loved and cherished animated films of our time and plus it also got a nomination for original screenplay in the oscars.This can`t possibly be a rip off,right?


Wrong

The name of the book is "Pierrot Le Poisson Clown" written by writer Franck Le Calvez.Pierrot lives in a pink sea anemone and starts life half-orphaned because one parent was swallowed up by Liona, the scorpion fish. Pierrot the fish had to take an epic journey in order to reunite with his mother in the end.

























Just like Nemo who lives in a pink sea anemone,his siblings die thanks to a shark. He himself than gets lost. HIS DAD was the one who had to take an "epic" journey in order to re-unite with Nemo in the end.Incidentally the protagonist fish of the movie and the book is a CLOWN FISH.

The writer of the book Franck Le Calvez had filed a case against the makers of Finding Nemo but apparently lost it because of some evil souls in the company who used their power.


























4. CARS

Reader-"I am sure that you will just randomly chose some film which is about cars and racing. Find two-three similarities which exists in preety much every car related film and will claim cars to not be original when infact it is original and won two oscars apart from starring the cute Owen Wilson. Right?"


WRONG

Doc Hollywood is a 20 year old comedy about a guy named Dr Benjami(michael fox) who is a "hotshot" young doctor who longs to leave the position of an emergency room doctor and so leaves his chance at more money as a cosmetic surgeon in L.A. Dr Ben sets off on a cross country drive to California where his trip is ruined as he crashes on a fence. Judge sentences hi, to communal service as a local doctor.He is upset in the beginning but as days go by he forms a bond with the localites there and slowly realizes the pleasure of small town life. Ben meets a local girl and falls in love with heras they travel together across town. Soon Ben finishes his service..becomes more matured and is torn with the decision to stay there or go back to california. While in Calfornia he greatly misses the local town and finally decides to go back to enjoy the simple life there.















Do I need to say what is the similarity between the above plot and the movie cars? If you have seen Cars you would realize that the above plot is EXACTLY the same in Cars. For those who have`nt seen Cars, they can go through the plot of Cars here .

Being the cheeky bastards they are,they even had the nerve to actually call Paul Newman`s character in Cars as "Doc". Also the character Mater from cars is a xerox copy version of Melvin the mechanic from doc hollywood.

5,6,7) Toy Story series




Toy story series is by far the most acclaimed animated movie series in history. Recently Toy Story 3 went on to collect among the 5 highest grossing films in history. All three films feature in IMDb top 250 and it is among the most loved movie series of all time. Don`t you dare call this too a rip-off you douchebag.









Well all three are HIGHLY INSPIRED from old animated films

Toy Story 1- The Christmas Toy



"When no people are around, the toys still play in the playroom. But since a toy will be frozen forever if a person catches it out of position, they have to be very careful. It's Christmas Eve, and Rugby the Tiger remembers how he was the Christmas Toy last year, and thinks he's going to be unwrapped again. And it's up to Apple the Doll, whom Rugby supplanted as favorite toy, to tell him what's in store. But Rugby won't believe her, and tries to get into the Christmas package and lets Meteora, Queen of the Asteroids loose. Unfortunately, she doesn't know she's a toy, and thinks she's landed among aliens. And it's up to Apple, Mew (the Cat's toy mouse), and the other toys to get Rugby out of the box and Meteora back in it before they're found and frozen."


Toys who become alive when no humans are around? Gift containing a new toy? Old favourite toy gets jealous? Deluded new toy who thinks he is in outer space and doesnt realize he is just a mere toy??? HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE TOY STORY OF THE 80`S.



Toy Story 2 - Sesame Street Presents: Follow that Bird



"Big Bird is the central character in this film. Miss Finch, a social worker, upon seeing that he doesn't live with other birds, sets him up to be adopted by a Dodo family. Unfortunately, he is not happy in his new surroundings and, trying to get back to Sesame Street, runs away from there. On the way, he encounters adventure with all kinds of people, and discovers where he really wants to be: his true home-Sesame Street. "

Not a direct rip-off but inspiration for Toy Story-2.











Toy Story 3 - The Brave Little Toaster



From IMDb "When a young boy and his family go on holiday, their household appliances, led by the toaster, think they've been abandoned. They decide, rather than be left alone in the house for who knows how long, to try to find him. So begins a dangerous and amusing venture through the city and countryside."


This is a film about a group of appliances who live to please their owner and also are secretly alive just like the characters in Toy Story. The groups from both the films believe that they have outlived their usefulness and are now useless for their owner.Both the groups decide to take a "epic" journey filled with adventure and comical situations and in the end they both realize that....they were`nt worthless to the master after all.

There is a similar scene in both the films where a character saves the protagonist miraculously from danger(toaster in brave little toaster and claw aliens in toy story 3). But than this is a Disney production so technically it isn`t a ripoff.

















Apart from these there are some more accusations of pixar ripping off other film like the connection between woody allen`s ANTZ and pixar`s a bug`z life and and an old film called short circuit having similarities with wall-e and the plot similarities between Little monsters and monsters inc. But all of them look like mere co incidences so haven`t included them here.