Abujug

7 Pixar classic movies that are completely ripoffs

2011-08-29T14:32:00.000-07:00

Pixar is unarguably considered as the best animation stupid since invention of animation. Almost all of their films are huge successes both critically and commercially. Most of Pixar fanboys even claim that the films coming out of pixar are original. Well are they? Let`s find out...

1. UP

The scene where the angry gay(it`s played by Christopher Plummer so duh) old man from UP flies off along with his home towards the sky is arguably the best scene of the film and also the turning point of the film. The way the entire scene is written and when the house goes "up" leaves the viewer shocked in a very good way. It has to be one of the best original scenes written in recent cinema history,right?

WRONG

"Above then beyond" is a short film from France. No more words needed, just watch the video below. Even some of the shots are similar. However the poignant ending of this short film makes it quite realistic,sad,tragic and overall much more superior and artistic when compared to the ripped off scene in UP. It would have been depressing and classy if the makers of UP had used this ending in their film.However they did`nt (probably for business reasons..who the hell would pay to watch a tragic animated film?) and instead made up a whole new commercial film based on this video.

2. The Incredibles

Incredibles has garnered huge critical acclaim ever since its release. It is rated 8 in IMDB and is in the top 250 top movies ranking. It has scored 97% in rotten tomatoes.It has won the oscar for the ebst animated film and also was nominated for an original screenpaly oscar. Must be an original gem,right?

WRONG

The entire outline of incredibles is heavily ripped off from the popular marvel comic FANTASTIC FOUR(and not just the fact that both are about a family of superheroes)
Just have a look at the characters..

Mr Fantastic the authoritative figure of the group can stretch,re-shape,bend,twist his body to whatever shape he wants.

Same as Elasti girl who can also stretch,bend,re-shape herself and is the authoritative figure of the group.

Invisible Woman has the ability to manipulate light to render herself invisible to others.As per wiki,She later develops the ability to generate force fields which she uses for variety of effects.

Same as Violet of Incredibles who can instantly turn invisible and as per wiki has the ability to generate "spherical force fields".

The Thing which looks like what would happen if the hulk was addicted to fanta has super human strength and is also filled with self pity and self loathing over his existence.oh and he is also the most loyal member of the group

Just like Mr Incredible who has super human strength and also found forced retirement difficult to handle.

Johnny Storm the coolest member of the group has the ability to project fire from his body and in his earlier days used to be a affectionately obnoxious and a rebellious brash.

Just like Jack-Jack the youngest child who has shown instances of having the fire power and Dash who is a super-brat and can run really fast.

Apparently the makers of fantastic four-the movie were forced to make script changes because of the resemblance with incredibles that released a year earlier.

3.FINDING NEMO

Finding Nemo is another pixar oscar winning classic. Finding Nemo is rated 8.1 in Imdb and has a 98% rating in rotten tomatoes. Easily one of the most loved and cherished animated films of our time and plus it also got a nomination for original screenplay in the oscars.This can`t possibly be a rip off,right?

Wrong

The name of the book is "Pierrot Le Poisson Clown" written by writer Franck Le Calvez.Pierrot lives in a pink sea anemone and starts life half-orphaned because one parent was swallowed up by Liona, the scorpion fish. Pierrot the fish had to take an epic journey in order to reunite with his mother in the end.

Just like Nemo who lives in a pink sea anemone,his siblings die thanks to a shark. He himself than gets lost. HIS DAD was the one who had to take an "epic" journey in order to re-unite with Nemo in the end.Incidentally the protagonist fish of the movie and the book is a CLOWN FISH.

The writer of the book Franck Le Calvez had filed a case against the makers of Finding Nemo but apparently lost it because of some evil souls in the company who used their power.

4. CARS

Reader-"I am sure that you will just randomly chose some film which is about cars and racing. Find two-three similarities which exists in preety much every car related film and will claim cars to not be original when infact it is original and won two oscars apart from starring the cute Owen Wilson. Right?"

WRONG

Doc Hollywood is a 20 year old comedy about a guy named Dr Benjami(michael fox) who is a "hotshot" young doctor who longs to leave the position of an emergency room doctor and so leaves his chance at more money as a cosmetic surgeon in L.A. Dr Ben sets off on a cross country drive to California where his trip is ruined as he crashes on a fence. Judge sentences hi, to communal service as a local doctor.He is upset in the beginning but as days go by he forms a bond with the localites there and slowly realizes the pleasure of small town life. Ben meets a local girl and falls in love with heras they travel together across town. Soon Ben finishes his service..becomes more matured and is torn with the decision to stay there or go back to california. While in Calfornia he greatly misses the local town and finally decides to go back to enjoy the simple life there.

Do I need to say what is the similarity between the above plot and the movie cars? If you have seen Cars you would realize that the above plot is EXACTLY the same in Cars. For those who have`nt seen Cars, they can go through the plot of Cars here .

Being the cheeky bastards they are,they even had the nerve to actually call Paul Newman`s character in Cars as "Doc". Also the character Mater from cars is a xerox copy version of Melvin the mechanic from doc hollywood.

5,6,7) Toy Story series

Toy story series is by far the most acclaimed animated movie series in history. Recently Toy Story 3 went on to collect among the 5 highest grossing films in history. All three films feature in IMDb top 250 and it is among the most loved movie series of all time. Don`t you dare call this too a rip-off you douchebag.

Well all three are HIGHLY INSPIRED from old animated films

Toy Story 1- The Christmas Toy

"When no people are around, the toys still play in the playroom. But since a toy will be frozen forever if a person catches it out of position, they have to be very careful. It's Christmas Eve, and Rugby the Tiger remembers how he was the Christmas Toy last year, and thinks he's going to be unwrapped again. And it's up to Apple the Doll, whom Rugby supplanted as favorite toy, to tell him what's in store. But Rugby won't believe her, and tries to get into the Christmas package and lets Meteora, Queen of the Asteroids loose. Unfortunately, she doesn't know she's a toy, and thinks she's landed among aliens. And it's up to Apple, Mew (the Cat's toy mouse), and the other toys to get Rugby out of the box and Meteora back in it before they're found and frozen."

Toys who become alive when no humans are around? Gift containing a new toy? Old favourite toy gets jealous? Deluded new toy who thinks he is in outer space and doesnt realize he is just a mere toy??? HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE TOY STORY OF THE 80`S.

Toy Story 2 - Sesame Street Presents: Follow that Bird

"Big Bird is the central character in this film. Miss Finch, a social worker, upon seeing that he doesn't live with other birds, sets him up to be adopted by a Dodo family. Unfortunately, he is not happy in his new surroundings and, trying to get back to Sesame Street, runs away from there. On the way, he encounters adventure with all kinds of people, and discovers where he really wants to be: his true home-Sesame Street. "

Not a direct rip-off but inspiration for Toy Story-2.

Toy Story 3 - The Brave Little Toaster

From IMDb "When a young boy and his family go on holiday, their household appliances, led by the toaster, think they've been abandoned. They decide, rather than be left alone in the house for who knows how long, to try to find him. So begins a dangerous and amusing venture through the city and countryside."

This is a film about a group of appliances who live to please their owner and also are secretly alive just like the characters in Toy Story. The groups from both the films believe that they have outlived their usefulness and are now useless for their owner.Both the groups decide to take a "epic" journey filled with adventure and comical situations and in the end they both realize that....they were`nt worthless to the master after all.

There is a similar scene in both the films where a character saves the protagonist miraculously from danger(toaster in brave little toaster and claw aliens in toy story 3). But than this is a Disney production so technically it isn`t a ripoff.

Apart from these there are some more accusations of pixar ripping off other film like the connection between woody allen`s ANTZ and pixar`s a bug`z life and and an old film called short circuit having similarities with wall-e and the plot similarities between Little monsters and monsters inc. But all of them look like mere co incidences so haven`t included them here.

15 Hilarious Google Suggest Results

2011-08-25T03:42:00.000-07:00

The 15 personalities below are amongst the most famous and influential people ever..so are these suggest results Funny? or Tragic? or Kickass?

You decide...

Online Anna Hazare fans & the irony of anti-corruption in India

2011-08-18T05:43:00.000-07:00

This post isn`t about whether Anna Hazare is a great revolutionist or a retarded douchebag. This post is merely shedding some light on some of his hypocrite supporters.Some of the ways in which Anna`s supporters were protesting are outright bizarre like people in his village doing a no-bath protest here.

However none are half as irritating as Anna`s social-network fans.

In your own facebook wall you would find many such hypocrites whose idea of a protest is to bombard your wall with Anna hazare pseudo-inspirational posts. When put in scoring system..the following are the values of their virtual protesting methods:

[Let us take the highly acclaimed method actress Sonam Kapoor as a prototype to display the mentality of online Hazare fans]

iSupport...the new application from apple

1. Put anna hazare pic as profile photo-score 10 points
2. Put anna hazare`s face along with the background of an Indian flag pic as your profile photo-15 points

3. Post 5 happy goody-goody status per day supporting Anna hazare and the abolishment of corruption in India-20 points

4. Post 5 angry status updates per day about how we are all wasting our time in doing pathetic stuffs like going to your job/feeding your family etc and join the protest - 10 points

5. Like the page "i support anna hazare" - 5 points

6. Abuse the fuck out of any person who does not support Anna`s views eventhough there are high chances that the latter must have read the lokpal bills while the former has`nt.-5 points

7.Compare Anna with mahatma gandhi - 100 points

8. Add the hashtag #isupportannahazare in every tweet u post - 10 points(5 points extra if u have a "support anna hazare" twibbon in ur twitter profile photo while you tweet this)

9. Post "hang kasab" comment or tweet.-50 points

At the end, the total number of points would be proportional to how good an Indian you are.

Anna Hazare has created an image of being the next Gandhi and that this great Indian tamasha is India`s second freedom struggle. Indians have a deluded image in their mind that it`s all the "government`s" fault and that they are all honest hard-working people who have been screwed up by the government. I am not defending the government in any way but these Indians act as if they are very huge patriotic when they have probably not once in their lives sang the national anthem/vande mataram except the times when they were forced to(school/college/Big cinemas multiplex). They are the same Indians who don`t think twice before buying black tickets or paying a huge percentage of real estate amount via cash to evade tax or bribing a traffic cop. They do give excuse for this as "there is no other way out" but the truth they and we all know is that we do it cause its convenient.The most outright disturbing fact is that 99% of online anna hazare fans post about supporting Anna Hazare while using a PIRATED WINDOWS OPERATING SYSTEM.

"Don`t judge me because i am appearing in a reality show. If Gandhi was alive he would to."

This is what Manu Joseph the dude who exposed the truth about Bharkha Dutt has written in his New York times article rearding the whole comic-revolution
"Most Indians have paid a bribe. Most Indian businesses cannot survive or remain competitive without stashing away undeclared earnings. Almost everybody who has sold a house has taken one part of the payment in cash and evaded tax on it.
Yet, the branding of corruption is so powerful that Indians moan the moment they hear the word. The comic hypocrisy of it all was best evident in the past few months as the anti-corruption movement gathered unprecedented middle-class support"

People login facebook and other such sites just to chill out and to chat with their buddies(and also because they have no life) so please do us all a flavor by keeping your virtual patriotism to yourself. We know we can block you if we are sick of your support-anna campaign but than we would lose out all the precious likes and comments that you have given in our posts in the past. So please just STFU and ejaculate your pseudo-patriotism outside social networking sites. And
if you really from the bottom of your heart support anna`s campaign than there are a lot of productive things you can do like actually going to Delhi and protesting there along with the crowd.

Because if you truly are a patriotic person but are wanking about it only in the internet than you are no different than my friend here....

Trends in Bollywood that need to Stop !

2011-08-15T13:36:00.000-07:00

Search all over internet and you will still find jokes about how bollywood is about couples running around trees. Bollywood does`nt deserve such remarks cause it has developed a lot compared to what it was in the 80`s(unless your film name is aarakshan,than yeah you definitely deserve those remarks). However that does`nt mean that Bollywood is great now. It still sucks and there are still a lot of irritating trends that goes on in bollywood like..

1)Shameless stars relaunching their careers:-

Worst offenders:-
Uday Chopra
Eesha Deol
Jackie Bhagnani

Nepotism is highly prevalent in Bollywood. This has given some really untalented brats of rich celebrities an easy access into Bollywood . These star-sons have become huge failures rejected by the entire country. As if tormenting us with nightmares by releasing horrible films is`nt enough,these "Stars" re-launch themself in their own production house in order to give the audience another chance to realize what a great acting talent they are missing on.

These great acting talents:

2)Stereotype colleges:-

Worst offenders:
kuch kuch hota hain
aarakshan
Mohabbatein
3 idiots
Munnabhai
and basically any bollywood film which involves a college.

Almost all of these bollywood films involve the hero falling in love with the principal`s daughter and probably in a huge clash with the principal-father in law too. Also most such films are about a college which is supposedly the best college of the country or city. Why do these filmmakers not care about ordinary colleges?

Apparently even Indian writers follow this trend:

3)Award show formats

Worst offenders:-
All commercial Bollywood award shows.

Its one thing that their results are completely flawed,lets forget about that fact for now. The biggest issue is how god damn irritating these award shows have become. These days award shows are basically about...

Homosexual references:

Homosexual references featuring karan johar:

Homosexual references featuring karan johar in a show hosted by srk:-

Homosexual references featuring karan johar in a show hosted by srk where srk makes fun of others:-

Homosexual references featuring karan johar in a show hosted by srk where srk makes fun of others and himself:-

Homosexual references featuring karan johar in a show hosted by srk where srk makes fun of everyone while ending up winning the best actor award himself:-

Homosexual references featuring karan johar in a show hosted by srk where srk makes fun of everyone while ending up winning the best actor award in a show whose promos features ...you guessed it.:-

Who do you expect would take this award seriously if the show is promoted by u,hosted by u,u perform in it and end up winning d award too.And please for the love of god cut down on the homosexual jokes. It isn`t funy anymore.Infact it is more gay than the gays themselves.

4)Announcing sequels

Worst offender:
Preety much every big budget film in recent years...from Wanted to blue to partner to every god damn film.

The most popular trend right now is to announce sequels immediately after the first weekend or like Shirish Kunder who announced tees maar khan sequel a week before release.

"Because you know...tees maar khan 1 isnt a sufficient punishment for making my jaan-e-mann a flop.Suffer the wrath of tmk2 too."

It`s not just these huge number of sequels but the fact that sometimes the sequel has nothing really to do with the original.The sequels sometimes don`t even have the same characters like in murder2.They are so very different from the first film.

Murder 1 rip off of a hollywood film
Murder 2 rip off of a korean film. see? SO DIFFERENT!

"Hmmmm maybe Murder 2 at the end of the day....is a proper sequel."

5)South Masala Remakes

Worst offenders:-
Every salman film of recent times
Singham
Ghajini-for starting this damn trend.

Well remakes/rip offs aren`t a latest trend. They have been going on since time immemorial. Infact the very foundation of bollywood is based on the audacity to rip off foreign films but act like its an original work of art. Hell Priyadarshan considers it his religion to remake mallu films in bollywood.
But the latest trend we all see is the excessive bastardized irritating remakes of south masala films. You could as well remake the good south films like how the cult classic Hera Pheri did. But nope you just had to venture into that one area where bollywood were better than south(which is by not making 80`s style films) and now proving bollywood is officially worse than south cinema. The ironical part is that such films were often ridiculed by bollywood fans few years before.

6)Profanities:

Worst offenders:
No one killed Jessica
Delhi Belly

"watch our film and you'll not only get to hear words like gaand but will also get to see some hot girl-on-girl action.Yup,that`s right."

Now i don`t have any problems with usage of profanities. Infact most of my favourite foreign films are filled with profanities. But in Bollywood profanities are used just for shock factor and sensationalism. Hell in trailers of Delhi Belly and No one
killed Jessica..the very selling point of the film is that "look! we have abuses in our films!!This automatically makes us cool!!!"

And our Indian audience for some strange sadistic reason find it hilarious for the mere utterance of abuses.

Holy shit did they just say the BC word in 3-d??Omg that`s so cool and funny.

7) Well there is more :
(i)Irritating comedy slapstick films started by Akshay Kumar and faithfully being continued by Ajay Deyvgn
(ii)Usage of the bodyrig camera which is basically a camera attached to the actor and moves along with actor. DevD started the trend for a tripping scene involving Abhay which made sense because the movement of the camera is perfect for that scene. But now everyone is using it!

Including Imran in Break Ke Baad where the usage of this camera was even used for promotion Here.

This trend isn`t just in Bollywood but even in Bengali and tamil cinema.

(iii)Making a big deal of the Oscar Library where second film including the ones like Yuvraaj,Action Replayy,Khelein Hum Jee jaan sey which are all attrocious films even for Bollywood`s standards are sent. Obviously the people who are responsible for selection of films into this library are a weird cult group from an alternate dimension who consider Taran Adarsh as their god.

Probably why Marlon died in the end of Apocalypse Now..the horror...the horror.

Its only the filmmakers who publicize it as if its an honor that their film was sent to the oscar library but the truth is any and every film good/bad , hit/flop film gets into the oscar library if its released in L.A.

P.S
Posting after 8 months gap..... feels good :-)

Similarities between How I Met Your Mother and Friends !

2010-10-06T06:09:00.001-07:00

I am a huge fan of both these shows and if I had to pick one I might go with HIMYM for the following three reasons 1)The repeated re-runs of Friends have become boring now 2)The unique non-chronological order story telling style of HIMYM and
3) wait for it....wait for it...Barney!

But there are so many similarities between the two shows that one might come to think that HIMYM is a rip-off of Friends!

Here is a bunch of similarities that i noticed while watching HIMYM:-

1) Characterization :- Ted(HIMYM) is a lot like Ross(F), both are hopelessly romantic. Barney(HIMYM) is the womanizer and a master of sarcastic one liners just like Joey and Chandler respectively. Lily(HIMYM) is a lot like Monica(F) and Robin(HIMYM) is a lot like Rachel(F).

2) Ted(HIMYM) has a spoiled sis(or at-least he thinks she is spoiled), same with Rachel(F).

3)Robin(HIMYM) gets a lucrative job offer but has to move to Japan , Rachel(F) gets a lucrative job offer in the end but has to move to Paris.

4)Couple dating:- Joey and his Australian girlfriend find Chandler and Monica too annoying, same happens between Barney-Robin and Marshall-Lily in season 5.

5)Both shows are primarily about a group of friends living in Manhattan,New York.

6)Robin`s rebound boyfriend Guyel(played by Enrique) is similar to Rachel`s Italian boyfriend.

7)Emily did`nt want Rachel to be around Ross , same way as Stella did`nt want Robin to be around Ted in the wedding.

8)Joey(when Chandler and Monica hook up) and Marshall(when Barney and Robin hook up) don`t want to hear any more secrets.

9)Janice ends up with a deaf husband. So does Ted`s annoying talkative ex girlfriend.

10)Both Ross and Ted buy a new car and show off.

11)Barney`s job is mysterious and unknown while Chandler`s job is forgettable too.

12)The Coffee show is to friends what the bar house is to HIMYM.

13)The episode where Ted moves out of he apartment is a rip-off of the episode where Rachel moves out of the apartment.

14) There is a similar episode in both the shows where each of them points out the others` faults and criticize each other.

15)Robin and Ted go on and off....just like Ross and Rachel.

16)Both Barney and Phoebe don`t know who their dad is. Both have been lied by their mother and grandmother respectively that some guy from TV is their dad.

17)The loving your best friend`s ex connection :- In HIMYM barney falls for Robin while in Friends Joey falls for Rachel.

18)Both Ross and Ted end up becoming professors and that`s not all...both end up dating one of their students(the latter ends up marrying his student)

So is How I Met Your Mother a rip-off of Friends?

The R Word

2010-09-18T06:09:00.000-07:00

For those who aren`t aware what this post is about than go through Google on the "R-Word campaign" and also check out the controversies of Sarah Palin and Jenifer Aniston due to this word.

Now it is obvious that people have a lot of spare time in their lives,why else would there be such a hue and cry for banning the word "retarded" to the extent of calling it "The R-Word" as if it were some kind of Dark lord Voldemort or something.
Context is everything. Obviously if we`re using retards to describe normal people who act stupid once in a while is OK because they aren`t actually retarded.Nobody in their right mind would use the R-Word to describe or insult "one of these people".

Sane people never use the R-Word to insult a person with a mental abnormality and those who do must be punished for sure. However, sane people do use it to insult idiots who clearly have been gifted with everything yet persist behaving stupidly.

Switch off the God damn Television !

2010-09-14T06:04:00.000-07:00

Let me get this straight...I hate television. I totally hate tv shows and this is quite a statement coming from a guy who used to be almost like a couch potato ten years ago. I am a typical 90`s kid and TV shows during the 90`s had a soul which is the one main thing that is missing in today`s TV shows. Probably an 80`s kid might be thinking the same about the shows aired during the 90`s,i do not know. But let`s face it, we can`t really blame those who create these bad shows. The one who needs to be blamed is the one who is holding the remote control. If he stops watching these non-sensical shows than probably the guys who are responsible would stop airing them. But nope he continues to watch and cheer whatever crap they air and hence this is the reason i hate TV viewers more than the TV shows.These TV shows are so mind numbing that they literally test your intelligence. Here`s presenting to you the top most annoying kinds of TV shows/viewers that i have seen in my life:-

1. Saas-bahu soaps:-
Of course you were expecting this category. These are those jobless house-wives(jobless because they don`t work outside and all house chores are handled by their servant maid) who spend the whole night from 7pm to 12 midnight watching melo-drama serials and also without fail watch the re-runs of the same episodes the next day afternoon. I mean do these dumb fucks really think that if Mihir died in last night`s episode there are chances of his death being just a false alarm in the re-run episode today noon? Why don`t you aunties just switch off the god damn tv and do any of the following things to pass your time:-

A. Fire your maid, get your fat ass up and start doing all the chores yourselves...by this you not only lose calories but also save money. And most importantly you can be almost sure that your husband will not do a "Shiney Ahujha" on you if there is no maid in the home.

B.If you are so fucking lazy to work than there is a better solution to pass away boredom. Have an affair. There are several sex starving 20 year old guys who will not think twice before sleeping with you as long as you still have the stuff. You will get plenty of satisfaction from them so shut the damn TV off.

2.Music Television:-
Dear MTv Addict youth,
No, watching MTv does not make you cool. No, those size zero non-curvy wanna-be model chicks in those supposed reality shows are not sexy.As the saying goes 'Only dogs go behind bones,real men prefer curves'.And if you are one of those who think that the TickR in the bottom of MTv is funny than you are a low life who needs to work on his humor.If you are addicted to those crap reality shows that MTv show and at the same time whine about how the saas bahu serials suck than please shut your god damn mouth and take a deep look at those crappy reality. They are nothing but glorified saas-bahu drama for the youth and when they say "f***" and it gets censored, I can almost hear some wanna-be cool dudes saying "oh god he just said the f word on tv...wow,he must be god!" I am not even sure why they call it Music television. 80% of it is filled with reality shows,10% is filled with actors promoting their films,5% filled with actors reminding the viewers that they are watching MTv and that they should enjoy this fact(God!) Where is the god damn music? And the worst part is those VJ`s.
Saw a bearded VJ with all the stereo-type gay characteristics called Andy(if am not wrong) WTF was it? i am not even sure if he/she/it was a human being. Also came across another VJ called hoezayy(or something) now if this man can become a VJ than even Raju Srivastav can become one.

3.Sports:-
I am not really that fond of sports so forgive me if i hurt sentiments of any sports fan reading this blog post but i seriously hate it when sport fanatics hog the television for hours watching their favourite sport and at the same time give a second by second running commentary via twitter mobile. Some of these guys even buy a so-called-original jersey of their favourite team from Reebok spending 1000 bucks and wear it while watching the match giving a false sense of pride.They even give up their fashion sense for the sake of supporting their team,i mean what kinda dumbfuck would spend so much bucks buying a ugly yellow coloured t shirt of Chennai super kings which has "Indian cements" written on it?
They not only watch the complete match but also watch the pre and post match analysis hosted by none other than Charu Sharma and Mandira Bedi. If you think Mandira Bedi becoming a cricket-expert hit an all time low than let me tell you this, i once saw Cyrus Broacha showing off his cricket expertise...no seriously,not kidding.

4.Laughter Show
Sadly this country is filled with people having really poor sense of humour and probably that`s what explains the success of laughter challenge shows.I have no clue why Archana Puran Singh and Navjot Singh laugh so much for jokes that are even more lamer than Santa-Banta jokes.And please for fuck`s sake and i cannot stress enough on the word fuck, these jokes aren`t even funny god damn it. Not even a bit funny,nope nothing nil.Trust me , spend time with me for half an hour and if i really like you i will tell you jokes that are kizillion times better than those made by Raju Srivastav. I am sure fans of such disgusting toilet humor shows are middle aged men who idolize Raju Srivastav....bastards.

5.Teenage candy floss shows
Am not sure where this fad started from. Probably its with "dill mill gaye".Imagine Karan Johar/Siddharth Malhotra/Punit Malhotra quitting films and directing TV shows, what do you get? You get all the shows that fall under this category.These are those shows targetting Indian teens by giving them a false sense of hope that there is a dream man waiting for them. He will be a good,flawless,charming man and will sweep them off their feet.All the shows under this category are so sugar coated that they have proven to be harmful for diabetic patients.The worst part is that most of the men in it have visible make-up on their face, Indian Edward Cullens indeed and oh don`t get me started on the god damn emotional bollywood songs they play in the background during emo moments.The success of "dill mill gaye" resulted in an outbreak of several bastard children(shows) with some of the most unintentional funny names like "love ne mila di jodi". To all the teenage girls out there, don`t you have something better to do in life than just watch these serials? Switch off the god damn Tv and do something fruitful like getting pregnant or something.

6.Talent hunt shows:-
India is a country filled with precious talents-True. But please guys(and by guys i mean celebrities who have failed in their careers and so have resorted to judging others talent even when they are not remotely connected to the field) stop making a mockery out of it. Giving pressure to poor 8 year old kids in winning competitions is so sad,i really pity these kids for losing their precious and beautiful childhood moments.And please for god`s sake tell me what is Sonali Bendre doing as a singing competition judge or for that matter Sajid khan as a talent show judge. All have sold their souls in the fight for Trp`s.Miss those times when reality shows were called music competition(Remember Antakshri with Anu Kapoor?)
More than the actual singing the show is more concerned with Himesh Reshammiya having a verbal war with Ismail Darbar.It`s funny how music talent shows have slowly shifted to the big bosses and the svayamvars.

7.News Channels:-
Everything that is needed to be said about present news channels can be summed up in one word...chutiya.

8.Cartoons:-
What the hell is wrong with cartoons these days? It is really sad that craps especially Japanese anime have taken over all the gems that used to be on air during the 90`s.Kids these days totally suck. By the way, South Park and simpsons don`t come under this category..they`re more than just mere "Cartoons". However 'Family Guy' definitely comes under this category.

9. Relationship based shows:-
A sub-category of the second type posted above. Ladies,Please don`t approach shows like emotional atyachaar. If your partner fails the test you will be a laughing stock in front of millions for being fooled by a guy and if he by chance passes the test than he is obviously going to get angry with you that you doubted him to the extent of almost making your relationship a national tamasha and he will break the relationship. Your relationship will be diminished regardless so do not approach such shows....idiots.I have nothing to say about "axe your ex".

Before anyone bashes me saying that i should`nt watch Tv if i hate it than trust me I hardly watch Tv.Infact i don`t even have a TV in the place where i live now.Just watch it at times when i am with family cause i cannot do anything else

P.S
Feels really nice to be blogging after more than two weeks. Have been travelling a lot recently so haven`t posted anything.Anyway enough about me,how have you all been?

Patriotism Then, Patriotism Now !

2010-08-25T06:19:00.000-07:00

Patriotism Then...

Patriotism Now...

Cinema:-

Television:-

Social Networking :-

Conversation between two of my blog readers....

NOTE:-
Above blog conversation joke inspired from South park :)

Rakhi ka swayamvar season 2

2010-08-23T06:31:00.000-07:00

Rakhi`s marriage with the winner of the first season was a big failure. Rakhi was left lonely and heart broken.

NDTV imagine understands Rakhi`s feelings after all it is the sister channel of a news network which features Bharkha dutt ...and so they decided to arrange a season 2 of the widely popular show Rakhi ka swayamvar. However things in the show did`nt go as well as it was planned..

Here are the contestants....

1. Shiney Ahuja
Once known as a good parallel cinema actor. Now is in hiding because of 'allegedly' raping his maid.

2. Abhishek
No one is really aware of who he is or what he does or how he came on TV. All we know is that he is Rakhi`s Ex-Bf

3. Ravindra Jadeja :-
Cricketer,All-rounder,Single-handedly responsible for several defeats and yet somehow manages to sustain a position in the squad

4.Internet fraandshipper:-
He is the special contestant/wild card entry. He is just an ordinary guy who got selected as the fateful winner in a contest in NDTV imagine site.The fucker is so fucking addicted to the net that he won by a landslide. This guy won`t be appearing on TV but will be in home tweeting which would appear on TV LIVE.

5.Jules winnfield:-
Ex-gangster,Reformer,BADASS,character in Pulp Fiction.
[For those who don`t know him, check this video before you continue reading http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czb4jn5y94g ]

Ravindra Jadeja is the bad fish in the Indian cricket team who is there in the name of an "all-rounder" when he can neither bat well nor bowl.Rakhi Sawant is a fuckin` drama-queen. Get rid of them,both of them..Only than India would prosper and the best way to get rid of them is to make them marry each other!

Agony of an average cinema goer

2010-08-21T07:28:00.000-07:00

Just a small post this time :), might not be very funny so hope you don`t get disappointed

And now link of the promo which is the inspiration behind this post

Anjana Anjani

Chetan Bhagat discusses about his next book

2010-08-18T07:25:00.000-07:00

After the success of his last novel "TWO STATES" Chetan Bhagat decides to write his next novel which will tackle on a different issue. He discusses about his next book with his team of co-writers . This is what happened during their discussion...
[Obama and Osama will be playing his co-writers]

Yes, Chetan is no genius in writing and no self respecting person would call his books ..literature.They are just ordinary,uninspiring stories inspired from his own life filled with his own sexual fantasies told in a straight forward manner with social prejudice and inter racial friends. He is India`s highest selling English writer only because of all the sexual references in his books and the fact that his books don`t cost more than 70 bucks.

The ridiculed character playing kareena`s fiancee in 3 idiots is an exact replica of Chetan Bhagat(education qualification,profession,whining nature) and that is the only reason why he whined about not getting proper credit in-spite of his name being mentioned in 3 idiots credits.

The scene about the ending of his 3rd book i have mentioned above is true and not made up. Yes, it is a book which probably has the most disastrous ending ever! Religious conflicts/revelation of a friend and your sister`s sexual affair and using cricket bat to save your life!

His second book is utterly pointless--> Getting a mindless call from GOD who comes as a beautiful Apsara in your train is heights of pathetic storyline. What was the point of this book? Shit happens,god calls and the end?

If you want to improve your English read O Henry`s works. And to all the introvert CB fans out there---> No! your love(sex)life will not be anything like how the love(sex) life of the hero in all CB books are and you study in an average engineering college not IIT . Stop masturbating by calling his books great. The most disastrous thing that Chetan ever inflicted to this earth is giving out bastard children which means giving way to more irritating pseudo-contemporary IIT based love story books like "ANYTHING FOR YOU MA`AM"

Chetan Bhagat is over rated, over hyped and those who rate his books great are those who have read only his books! Pe-fuckin-riod.

NOTE:-
yes i have read every book of his from start to the end. Liked the first book to a small extent,hated the other three and hate those who call these books great.

P.S
Check out this hilarious CB plot generator

http://www.chutneycase.com/2010/03/chetan-bhagat-plot-generator.html

Romanternet ... Romancing on the internet

2010-08-14T07:57:00.000-07:00

Writing this one on request of one of my friend from Kerala.

FACT: The basic aim of any average guy is to get a girlfriend..Why? for fake love and real sex..yes it is a FACT! However not every guy is smart like Salman or handsome like Hrithik or 'beautiful' like Edward Cullen to get one in his college or neighborhood and so he goes for the next best thing which is internet! ahh internet the place where any cat can become a tiger...the place where no one knows you are a dog. These guys realized the unique power of internet and BANG this was the start of Romanternet..Romancing on the Internet!

Ok so our guy makes an account in facebook and orkut. In orkut he displays brilliant photos and his profile "about me" is so impressive that anyone who views it would picture a tom cruise while reading it when in reality his face looks like an hybrid cross of a kamal rashid khan and a rajpal yadav.

But hey! lets not generalize them but lets divide them. There are two kinds of 'romanterneters'- the educated and the uneducated. Will talk about the uneducated 'romanterneters' first.

People who come under this section do not know what love is. Their basic aim in life is to have sex. They were born under the wrong continent. There is not a single day of their life were they don`t think "fuck why was`nt i born in America? i would have surely got laid by now" These are male nymphomaniacs who have no aim,goal or direction in life. They are lonely in life. They have no one to love(sex) so they make internet accounts and with their bhaad engleesh pollute the internet with the no.1 pick up line "will you do fraandsshipp with me?". If the girl has a pic of celina jaitley ,these uneducated demented minds would automatically get horny and imagine themselves chatting with celina.These people tend to be over-weight,badly dressed,low in confidence and esteem and of course bad in english grammar yet inspite of all these shortcomings shamelessly and proudly display brad pitt or hrithik roshan as their profile photo.Usually some of these people fail to realize that most of those girls have shifted to facebook(they would`nt join facebook because it is obviously so fucking complicated for them). Those of them who do join believe in the philosophy that comment or like on any of the girl`s status or post everyday and one day you will get laid!

[Lonely sarcastic guy is the guy who is of the opinion that sarcasm is enough to sweep the woman off her feet, lonely fucker is that guy who will add modifications to the status posted by the girl or will give advice if the girl has some negative status but will rarely bother in commenting on their male friend`s status and annoying guy at the bottom is that guy who thinks that just cause of the fact that he speaks her mother tongue,this gives him an edge! Grow up guys...when you are in trouble(since u r so fuckin addicted to net ,the biggest problem u might face is when ur profile gets hacked) it is your friends who will help u not ur dream girl in the internet!]

Than there is the educated type- as he is well educated he realizes that a girl desires true love and not one night stand. He also knows that everyone has shifted to facebook and he too shifts cleverly concentrating on his status messages. He spends hours collecting philosophical quotes from brainyquote.com and slowly waits for his victim. Sooner or later when a female [whom he has`nt met in real life of course] comments than BANG he gets his target! Now he will stock each and every move [read as post] of his victim, entices her with his mystical virtual charm , gives sound advice on any problem the girl has. Comments or likes on each and every status of the girl and might even refer to her as "dear" (chutiye kabhi real life mein kissi larki ko dear bola hai kya...dear chod,kissi larki se baat kiya hai kya) . Slowly yet steadily and strategically starts to flirt with her and might get her cell phone number after which he starts sending her love quotes thinking that she would fall in love reading his messages(little does he know that the girl is actually thinking of her crush/dream man/edward cullen whilst reading those messages) than one day when his horoscope says it is a good day , he comes out of the closet(no i dont mean homosexually) he proposes her! maybe via sms or facebook secret inbox communication or if he is a real asshole than twitter DM. There are 99% chances that he would get rejected, so what does the guy do now? No he does`nt move on cause apparently he realizes that the girl he gifted a tractor in farmville is actually his dream girl. So he starts to become a bev-d(modern devdas is called dev-d,virtual devdas is called bev-d). Enters the brainyquote site again only this time searches for love failure quotes and starts flooding his status message with sad whiny quotes thinking that the girl-he-was-meant-to-be-with will read them...feel sorry for her actions..and say "mein tumse pyar karti hoon aur shaadi karna chahthi hoon sirf iss janam ke liye nahin agle saat janm k liye" .Sadly now the girl who got freaked out after hearing the proposal decided to ignore him and now does`nt even know if he still exists.

This was the rountine drama in social networking sites, lonely guy falls for a beauty with brains girl gets rejected , becomes a bev-d for some weeks till he finds his next true-luv-whom-he-was-meant-to-be-with girl who probably does`nt even live in his fuckin` country(but hey who cares about country when it comes to true-fuckin-love right?) . Everything was going fine until one fine day something really bad happened. Some of the girls became so fuckin addicted to internet that they were`nt able to get any boyfriend in real life and hence what they did? Yes thats right! they started to accept the proposals and this brought social networking into an all time low with the rise of INTERPLES - internet couples..long distance relationships. In my future blog post will rant on the torturous escapades of interples in facebook.

Pseudo Football Fans

2010-08-11T01:32:00.000-07:00

Let`s rewind back to a few weeks ago--->Football was on everyone`s mind,heart,soul,lips,hips(waka waka) and of course tweets.Everyone who was anyone supported some random country and became a supposed die hard fanboy of that nation. They fight with rival fans with all their blood[no not physical fights,am talking about the twitter/fb fan wars] and get a faux sense of prestige when their favorite team wins a particular match. They give a second by second update on what happens during the match[dude, the whole fuckin world is watching the match...we know it when a player misses a goal!!]

Now Lets switch back to present scenario -----> ?????? Where have all the pseudo football fans gone?

It is sad and scary that Football world cup seems to be becoming more of a fad than a sports tournament. It is almost like you have to follow the world cup to be considered cool and "fit in" the group. Brazil seems to be the favorite team by default for Indians.

Some statistics:-
1. 70% of the football fans who come out of hibernation during fifa season have`nt even touched a football in their life.
2.95% of these pseudo fans do not know the name of any Indian football player except Baichung Bhutia(30% of which would`nt even know Baichung Bhutia if it was`nt for his presence in the celebrity dance show JHALAK DIKHLAjA)
3.95% of them have`nt played football in their lifetime. Now i know there are people even among cricket admirers who follow the game but do not play it but is`nt 95% too much?

Do not question these statistics for they have been researched and articulated by Arnab goswami.

NOTE:- Will be using some popular faces in this comic, the characters in this comic have nothing to do with the actual personalities though!

*DAY- Just before IPL-3*
*SITUATION:- 4 buddies who love cricket.. hanging together*

*DAY:- 1 day before fifa world cup began

*SOME WEEKS LATER*

CID and the case of the irritating PJ`S

2010-08-08T07:19:00.001-07:00

The following is a parody on the show called C.I.D and the irritating "PJ" messages that are being forwarded daily. Read on and advanced sorry if i have hurt the sentiments of die hard fans of C.I.D.

Few moments later.....

On making a couple of phone calls daya gets the address of abujug..ACP and the gang head to the said address..They ring the door number of abujug but no one answers

They find a bottle containing pink liquid inside the fridge.

few moments later...

EPILOGUE:-

How to become an intelligent movie buff

2010-08-07T07:50:00.000-07:00

An year ago i did`nt know who Christopher Nolan and Quentin Tarantino were but now among my group of friends and in alot of internet forums i have huge respect for having a good knowledge of cinema.People ask me for my opinions and recommendations on movies.So what`s the secret of my success? It is just these ten step process that i followed and within no time i became an intellectual movie buff.Such ten step methods are available in other sites too but do not trust them because they are counterfeit and will turn you into a pseudo intellectual and not an intelligent movie buff.Some sites would tell you to register or pay credit in order to view the ten step process but in this blog you can view them for free...that's right FREE FREE FREE

[CLICK PIC FOR PROPER VIEW]

1.The first most important part is your PRESENTATION which basically means the DP(display photo) of your orkut/facebook profile.You should`nt have a photo of yours as your display even if your face is to brad pitt what hurman`s face is to hrithik`s. You must have a picture of some cult film personality as your DP.Just make sure that the cult personality you choose is`nt famous among the general audience.You should`nt have a tom hanks or a Steven Spielberg photo but of some cult figure who is`nt very popular among Indian general public.
For example:-Kubrick,Scorcese,Tarantino would perfectly fit the bill.

2.Every person who wants a job must have a Curriculum vitae as it is very important and will tell everything about you.Similarly to be an intelligent movie buff you must have an album(in your orkut/facebook profile) containing pictures of movies that you have seen.This does`nt mean that you can include any tom,dick,harry film like Jurassic park or Pirates of the Caribbean picture in that album..no, a strict NO! Only films that have been critically appreciated by American critics. Don`t be scared, it is ok even if you did`nt like that film.In fact it is ok even if you did`nt see the film.Simply take any top 10 movie list from Google,get the images of their posters and upload them! Make sure you avoid Indian films at all costs,try including films of Korea if possible.

3. If you are a really patriotic person and love India alot than you can include a few Indian films in that album and claim to be their fan. Criteria:-Either the Director`s name must be Anurag Kashyap or Vishal bharadwaj or the film must be a black and white pre-70`s release.

4.Criticism:- Now you are ready to take on the world and whilst you take on, you must maintain a tendency to criticize a particular film every now and than.Choose any film which you wish to but remember one thing if you are criticizing films like Twilight/Transformers/Harry potter feel free to use the most disgusting words as possible cause the more crappy words you use ,the more respect you gain.Once in a while you would have to criticise a decent/quite good film too,don`t use rubbish words in this case..go the politically correct way by constructively criticizing them.

5.Your reviews:- Now that you have become a critic your next step would be to review great films.Not to worry,even if your cinematic knowledge is weak,with our easy formulae you can be a good reviewer. The only Formula is "Adjective + cinematic term". Yup that`s it!All you have to do is take any adjective you like ,for example:-superb,brilliant,amazing,mind blowing etc and add a cinematic term to it like screenplay,cinematography,direction,acting etc.
Now all you have to do is say "awesome cinematography" "superb screenplay" etc and voila people start "liking" your status and start passing comments like "wow thanks,will definitely watch it"

6.This is the most important step cause this step will separate the intelligent buffs from the pseudo intellectuals!

Great Personalities/films you are not allowed to hate:-Godfather,Pulp Fiction,Kurosawa,Francis ford,Tarantino,Nolan,Kubrick,Hitchcock,David Lynch,Scorcese,Fellini,Welles,Citizen Kane etc

Great personalities/films you are allowed to hate:-James cameron,Steven Spielberg,Johnny Depp,Brad Pitt,Cruise and basically anyone who is good but famous among the general audience!

Personalities you must hate:Entire team of Transformers/Twilight/Harry potter

7.Occasionally talk about how you loved surreal films:-
Surreal films are those films which have no head or tail and are very self indulgent in nature.An average viewer cannot last more than ten minutes watching a surreal film and so this is the reason that you have to praise the movie to your friends and recommend them to watch it even though they would most probably be abusing youif they end up watching it.
Example of such films:-Lost highway,Donnie darko,No smoking etc

To review such films make use of phrases like "work of art" ,"hypnotizes you","takes you to a different world" etc

8.Show-off
Every good employee shows off by talking about his skills openly to higher officials so that he might stand a chance to get a promotion. Similarly you have to show people what are all the films you saw.Going to watch GODFATHER? What`s the first thing you should do? Login Twitter and type "#nw godfather". Saw any new film? The first thing you do immediately after finishing the film is login the site where you are active and mention it in your status message or post that movie`s poster in your album and rant on how this film has changed your life(when in reality it has`nt changed shit)

9.Foreign films
Talking about Hollywood is`nt enough,you have to talk about foreign films too.So what do you do? Go to imdb and find out the highly rated Japanese,Korean films...download them and immediately scream to everyone that these films are cult classic and that Indian cinema is not even 1% of these films.
Thats right you watch just one Japanese film and certify that Japanese cinema is greater than Indian cinema.You will receive huge respect by all foolish Indians who have a low self esteem about their country.

10.Be the tour DE force guy:-
Which means that your attitude should be such that you consider yourself as a guy with an I.Q of 200 even though you barely manage to pass in your practical examinations.Use a thesauraus to get complex sounding adjectives and make many "rare film" references in your review,like

"Nolan`s film is surely the most ambitious psychological thriller ever.His baroque imagination makes most director`s efforts look like breach pail sand castles alongside Mad King Ludwig`s Neuschwanstein Castle.Nolan`s film making fuses the Kubrick and Hitchcock style of film making"

[Above words are actually taken from a review]

[poor guy who is weak in English and has a low cinematic knowledge would be forced to Google the words "baroque","Kubrick" , "Hitchcock" and "Mad King Ludwig`s Neuschwanstein Castle" to know what the fuck you are talking about]

Also over-use the word "overrated".Anything you found just "good" but a section of people found it "slightly above good" than scream your lungs out on how over rated that film is.
And that`s it ! Following these ten steps you too can be an intellectual movie buff!

HAPPY REVIEWING!

[CLICK PIC FOR PROPER VIEW]

[CLICK PIC FOR PROPER VIEW]

This blog post is just my attempt to fusion three subjects 1)self mockery 2)satire and sarcastic view on the rise in "intelligent" movie buffs all over internet forums and a 3)parody on the late night American infomercials that come on Indian TV channels with a really bad dubbing voice.This post is also an attempt to indirectly show the horrors of intellectual movie buffs wasting productive time by watching multiple films everyday and discussing it on the internet when their career line has nothing remotely to do with cinema.

Reviewing the bollywood reviewers

2010-08-06T07:30:00.000-07:00

A good friend of mine from punjab requested me to post a write-up on the way our Bollywood film critics review films these days.So here goes.Well It is kind of ironic to say that "critics suck" cause if criticizing films suck than what about those who criticise the one who criticise films?? But unlike many of our desi pundits i have the common sense to admit that opinions are like assholes and that everyone has got one! Every second internet addict has become a film critic these days especially after the twitter boom.The reviews of these experts is no different from that of the general fan-boys with the exception that these critics get paid for doing what they do..however these internet addict film reviewers are less wrong when compared to how wrong our expert pundits are.Read on...

Some of the most popular Bollywood film critics are Taran Adarsh,Rajeev Masand and Raja Sen among others. Lets go through some of the pathetic yet disturbing ways they review films..pathetic because it just isn`t right and disturbing because there are thousands of people who might decide to go for a film or not based on their reviews.
[CLICK PIC TO ENLARGE]

Taran,If you are going to reflect just the popular opinion(the masses) than why the hell do we need you? We can simply ask any roadside romeo or even our watchman or clerk on their opinion about the latest friday release.

Anurag Kashyap on Taran Adarsh-

"Taran Adarsh is the son of the person who made the film "Gupt Gyan". It is Taran's favorite movie. Whatever he knows about cinema is from that movie."

Although Taran`s knowledge about the artistic nuances of cinema is less than my dead great grand mother`s cinematic knowledge ,i still appreciate him for one reason that he does`nt force his opinion on the readers much and also maintains a decent standard in terms of language usage while reviewing films which the next bunch of critics do not..

[CLICK PIC TO ENLARGE]

Rajeev Masand has a high taste in cinema which is an acquired taste after watching dozens of films from Honduras,Slovakia and other countries which you might have not even heard of. It is a good thing but why judge commercial masala bollywood films on the same scale as the 2-3 offbeat Dutch films that he saw? and most importantly why this huge bias for movies of Karan johar and Farah Khan? Where does his "sensible filmi khopdi" go while reviewing their films?
He even had the audacity to call a superstar like Akshay kumar as "jackass" openly in twitter to all his admirers,maybe if he had spent more time in the gym or actually doing something productive and developed at-least 1% the personality that Akshay is ,he could actually get some real admirers.

However Rajeev has come up with some really interesting points in some of his reviews and so is worth of a little appreciation which the next critics are totally not worth of.

[CLICK PIC TO ENLARGE]

Yes,Khalid who made apologetic films on feminism like Fiza,Silsilay,Tehzeeb has been trashing films non stop for the last several years.
Talented film-maker Anurag Kashyap on Khalid mohammad-

"Chutiye tu retire ho ja , tera time khatam.”

As far as Raja Sen goes...he is`nt a reviewer. He is not a trade analyst.All he is, is a gimmick.He is born in this planet only for entertaining REDIFF users.Check out the comments under any of his reviews that he posts in REDIFF,trust me you will die laughing all day.Statistics say that 95% reviews of his film fail to cross the 2/5 rating mark.In one of his article he even bashed up films of kamal hassan and suggested him to make slapstick films,can you believe that!!

I do believe that a film is a commercial product and that everyone has the right to express what they thought about it but...SHUT THE FUCK UP U IDIOTS!! An expert critic does`nt force the reader/viewer not to watch the film but actually reviews it by presenting the film in a larger context such that the viewer will be able to decide for himself whether he would like to watch it or not.A good film critic will not just point at all the short comings of the film but will also rant on how the film could have been better or how the director should have handled the short comings.Please stop screaming your lungs out that how so and so actor or director`s career is finished . These aren`t reviews but just a pathetic attempt in displaying your humor.No one has the ability to speak on behalf of millions of people,not even God!

The only reviews which i found unbiased and intelligent were that of Bharadwaj Rangan and sadly most of them have`nt even heard of him.So does it mean that you get noticed and your reviews are read by a majority only if they are controversial or stupid? god only knows!

[CLICK PIC TO ENLARGE]

Posted below are some of the shocking yet hilarious ratings by Taran Adarsh and Rajeev Masand:-

TARAN ADARSH

dev-d (1/5)
"There's no harm if you pick up an enticing story and tell it your way, but Kashyap goes a bit too far, crosses all limits and tends to get abstract once again. And that's the reason for DEV D's downfall. Watching DEV D is akin to doing atyachaar on oneself! On the whole, DEV D is NO SMOKING II. Does one elaborate more?"
[Did u even understand both the films u idiot?]

karzzzz 4/5
"At the box-office, the film should fetch a thunderous start and in due course, should be amongst the biggest achievers of the year in terms of business. Reincarnation themes have a super-successful track record, right from KARZ to KARAN ARJUN to OM SHANTI OM. Now add KARZZZZ to this list. Damn the pseudo critics who even rubbished KARZ three decades ago. Go by your instinct and have a blast!"
[pseudo critics eh?? FU]

Rang de basanti 2/5
"A.R. Rahman's music is ordinary. Barring Paathshala and the title track, Rahman's score doesn't stay with you after the screening has ended.Also, RANG DE BASANTI unfolds at a leisurely pace all through. After establishing the characters in the first 30 minutes, the story doesn't really race forward. The sepia-tone parallels are engaging at times, not always. Besides, the message that the film carries with it tends to get diluted towards the climax."

Kabhi alvida na kehna 4.5/5
"This is SRK's finest work after D.D.L.J."

Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gham:-
"It has style, substance, it takes challenges and doesn't follow formulas -- and that is its biggest strength."
[LOL LOL LOL ,speechless]

Chak De India 2/5
"At best, it may attract attention initially thanks to the star power and the Numero Uno production house promoting it aggressively. But that's about it! "

and the worst of all,Krrish 4.5/5
"Free as a bird, he runs like the wind..Like an eagle, he soars across rivers and mountain tops..As a lion, he conquers rugged rocks without fear"
[WTF??????can there be a more immature review than this?]

DCH- 2/5,veer zara 4.5/5,dhoom2 4.5/5,singh is kinng 4/5,welcome 4/5,thoda pyar thoda magic 4/5

There are many more such examples.

There are many fans of Taran Adarsh who claim that he is a trade analyist and not a critic and an accurate trade anayist at that.That is false, he is far from accurate even when considered as a trade anayist for he has given 4/5 ratings for disasters like loc kargil,paheli,eklavya,karzzz etc and a 2/5 rating for big hits like rnbdj,kmg,rdb etc

RAJEEV MASAND
His comments on KURBAAN:-
"Stripped to its bone, Rensil D'silva's Kurbaan is an edge-of-the-seat thriller that seldom loses its grip on your attention.Credible performances from its leads, and a nail-biting screenplay make up for the plot holes that threaten to eat into this otherwise engaging film."

Rajeev`s ratings:

MNIK-3/5 , kank- 4/5 , oso-3/5 and a thumbs up for kurbaan,dostana,main hoon na etc while thumbs down for majority of the other commercial/masala Bollywood films.
Whats even more shocking are ratings like 2/5 for Clooney`s superb oscar nominated film called "Michael clayton" and a 3/5 for retiesh deshmukh`s aladin which is probably Bollywood`s biggest disaster ever.

Beware the self promoter

2010-08-04T07:27:00.001-07:00

A new virus is spreading all throughout social networking sites.Arnab Goswami of TIMES NOW claims that Indians are affected by this deadly virus the most and that 1 out of every 10 Indians addicted to social networking sites seem to show symptoms of being affected by this virus. The name of this virus is - SELF PROMOTION.

Yes,am talking about that pathetic section of people in the internet world called "self promoters"(not to be confused with spammers).This virus had originated in orkut when a bunch of people who were really shy snd reserved in real life realised that there was no reason to be shy in the internet world,they realised that internet is a tool where they could show the world their strength,their power because if you abuse someone in real world they would attack you but in the internet world...they cannot do ANYTHING! And hence the virus was born and had spread everywhere.

Symptoms of this disease:
Maximum photos in their album would describe about their achievements, no don`t be fooled am not talking about getting distinction in 12`th boards or getting selected in your state cricket team.No not those kind of achievements.Their albums would be filled with screenshots of their own self proclaimed achievements,like...

-Editing your profile pic by adding an "ACCOUNT VERIFIED" tag in it and uploading it in your profile proudly proclaiming that orkut/facebook admins know you personally and thats how your account got verified.

-Using Greasemonkey scripts to enhance the style of your web pages but proclaiming to the world that you are a master in web designing which apparently makes you nothing less than God!

Other symptoms would include the abuse of the usage of the "status message" space in facebook,some horrendous self promoting status messages like...
"wanted to buy an i-pad to know what the hype was all about...went to the market but it wasnt available so had to settle for an itouch"(ahh subtle!)

"Hey all!My nokia cell which has an airtel sim isn`t working right now so will be using my samsung corby which has a docomo sim for now..however the docomo rates are high so have put my vodafone sim in my corby..so remember please call me on my vodafone number now but sorry the voice quality won`t be great cause am using corby and not nokia n series"(zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)

"oh wow twitter has put up my profile pic in their homepage!! did`nt know i was so popular! Here is the screenshot of the twitter home page.." (posts a link of an MS paint edited pic)

Yes every single status update would be a reminder to their friends on how freakin` popular/great/busy they are.Such people would even tend to warn their friends if they go offline for ten seconds just incase if any of their friends starts worrying when it takes a whole one minute for him to reply.There are 99% chances that such people have an "its complicated" as their relationship status.Maybe if these people spent more time in real life than in pseudo-world they would figure out if they are actually in a relationship or not.

Such people don`t actually meet too many people.They rarely do anything productive,do not engage in human interaction yet claim to the world that they have many friends.Sad really.If you want to promote yourself but cannot afford a decent PR than you can be sure that this virus would attack you next! Hope this warning is an awareness for all the people out there and here`s hoping that the next victim of this virus isn`t you!
Here is an example of how a self-promoter`s orkut album would look like

http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Album?uid=18077190329384452290&aid=1

Yes i too was badly affected by this virus while i was active in orkut,happy to say that this virus is finally off me! However a new virus has affected me now and it is called SPAMMING..poor friends of mine in yahoo messenger!

Criticizing the Critics of Akshay Kumar

2010-08-03T05:13:00.000-07:00

I thought of writing such an article for Shahrukh first cause it was apparently a fad for certain movie buffs to criticize SRK.However these days the focus has shifted from Srk to Akshay Kumar.Every second critic in every website or internet forums criticizes and bashes Akshay Kumar for the silliest of reasons to the extent of even calling him a "jackass", so decided to talk about Akshay`s critics first and than Srk some other day.

A complete natural actor:
First of all what these critics must understand is that Akshay is just an actor in the film. He did`nt write the script/screenplay and neither did he direct it. While checking out the reviews of Khambhakt Ishq i noticed that majority of the critics fully blamed Akshay for how bad the film was, i don`t remember anyone bashing the director(whose poor direction was the main reason for how bad the movie turned out to be). When was the last time that Akshay gave a poor performance or hammed in a film?
He isn`t and never claimed to be a method actor,he does all his roles in his own way and gives a very good performance in all his films but sadly in India actors are judged based on how the film turns out to be and not based on how the performance was. Look at Hollywood`s Johnny Depp,none of his films are close to being classics and his last film sucked but still he is considered amongst the best method actor of this generation!
Even in a disastrous film called JAANI DUSHMAN which is probably the worst film of bollywood history(sonu nigam`s acting in it being the worst performance in bollywood history) you see Akshay being the only decent thing about the film.
Be it action(tashan),comedy(hera pheri),romance(namastey london) or drama(khakee) he plays it all naturally and rarely does a bad job as an actor.In an horrendous film like TASHAN,he gave one of the best performance of that year!
-aren`t these signs of a very good actor? Is the final output of how the film turns out to be need to affect our opinion of how his performance was in those films?

A Self made man:
He along with Shahrukh are probably(surely) the last superstars of Bollywood who aren`t from filmi families.He had to claw his way from the bottom and reached such heights without much support from big banners.No other actor has faced that many failures as much as Akshay in his beginning days.But still the man did`nt deter and took every failure as a stepping stone.

As a person Akshay never resorts to cheap publicity(now i know you would be thinking about the RK laxman incident but please check out his tweets before jumping to conclusions.There was never a time when he took digs at other actors for the sake of his film`s publicity.He is very spiritual,loving and a gem of a human being who never even bothered to reply to a critic called Rajeev Masand for his jackass comment making him the better man.He has an amazing personality and if you are on of those who insult him by talking about his "chest hair" than must say... you are so gay!

His best performances:
I consider the following as his best performances as an actor -
1.Hera pheri(birth of Akshay the comedian since Mr and Mrs Khiladi did`nt get the response it deserved)
2.Jaan-e-mann(which A-list actor would play second fiddle to Salman? that too in a geeky/nerdy role?)
3.Mujhse Shaadi Karoge(another awesome collaboration with Salman,stealing the show all the way)
4.Khakee(amazing range of emotions transforming from a con-cop to a real human being)
5.Mr and Mrs Khiladi (very under-rated comedy film,highly recommended,his chemistry with khader khan was even better than govinda-khader khan jodi in several films)
6.Tashan (a raw comic role,if only this was a cult film than this performance would have got the praise it deserved)
7.Garam Masala(John abraham,paresh rawal were shrudded into pieces and were no match to akshay)
8.Namastey London(brilliant)
other awesome ones include sangharsh,jaanwar,ajnabi,khiladi and few others

To Akshay Kumar:
The industry needs Superstars like you! Hope you keep on doing multiple number of films a year,may they gain good profit and be liked by those who like your kind of comedies(the masses) and get the industry out of depressions and recessions.But at the same time hope you change your direction a bit and start doing good scripted films too cause sadly this industry will judge you only on how your film is and not how you were in the film!

Note:
I did not like any of Akshay`s films of recent past(post namastey london) but i just feel that the way the critics bash him is totally unfair.

---------------------------------
i take back everything.
this guy is gone case now.
Hope he comes back.

No self-respecting woman would watch Twilight

2010-08-01T06:09:00.000-07:00

Twilight, the epic series...oops saga is about a love story between a vampire and a really clumsy/stubborn girl and about the complications in their relationship.No it isn`t another one of those sugar coated cute rom-coms that girls like. But infact Twilight is nothing less than a catastrophe made to ruin girls` minds. This is one of those epic disasters that while watching the viewer would feel that his intelligence is being ridiculed.Here are some problems that i have with Twilight:

Ruining the vampire`s image:-Vampires are blood sucking monsters that are supposed to scare your guts out.Vampires die when exposed to sunlight,they do NOT sparkle like some gay tooth fairies(Yes! vampires in this film actually sparkle when exposed to sunlight).Vampires are supposed to be scary not beautiful! Stephenie has made hundred`s of references in the novel expressing the beauty of Edward Cullen.Edward has no fangs and neither has the urge to drink blood.Apparently he is a "vegetarian" vampire which means that he sucks on animals and not humans.Vegetarian?? Can there be a bigger mockery of VampireS?

Twilight is stephenie`s wet dream:
A muscular werewolf with 6 pack Abs,a myserious "beautiful" vampire all behind an average clumsy,i-always-get-into-trouble girl Bella...Yes! Twilight is nothing more than a wet dream that Stephenie had. Most of the pages describe Edward`s beauty with traits such as bronze hair and topaz eyes.Edward is nothing but a fictional pansy vampire who is made of some white stone and sparkles.Stephenie Meyer`s "wet" dream man whom she sleeps with in lala-land only cause there is no one in real life ready to sleep with her.

Twilight is not for the self respecting female:
Bella is a teenager who is ready to give up everything-from her family to her friends to even giving up pursuing higher studies all just to be with Edward.Their love isn`t romantic but stalker-ish and really really disturbing! Edward follows where ever Bella goes and even secretly stares at her when she sleeps(Bella actually is delighted when she comes to know this,a normal girl would get totally freaked out).Apart from this, the entire relationship is controlled by Edward. He takes a break from the relationship when he wishes too and comes back when he wishes too(New moon),he over-rules her opinions.When Edward leaves her,Bella goes into depression mode and turns into a lifeless "zombie" for several months until Edward returns. Bella is toally dependant on Edward and is helpless and loses all her happiness when Edward leaves.In the later stages of New Moon, Bella figures out that she hears Edward`s voice when ever she tries to cheat death and so creates many haphazard situations for herself just in order to hear Edward`s voice(delusion).There is also a situation where Bella gets "bitch"napped by a character called James and instead of fighting for her life all she does is sit back and wait for Edward to come and rescue her.

Girls(twilight fans) this ain`t true love,this is insulting yourself! Learn to respect yourself and your identity,don`t idolize a woman who is submissive,non self depandant and insecure like Bella.

Character Development:
One of the reasons why Lord of the Rings is miles ahead of Harry Potter which in turn in miles ahead of Twilight is because of character development! Twilight displays absolute zero character development.All there is needed to be known about the character can be deduced within a few minutes.Edward is a cardboard cutout character with no personality and is there only to provide eye candy for the teen-age girls.20% of the books is filled with references of Edward`s "beauty".

The Awful Writing:
Stephenie deliberately makes her writing complicated but don`t be fooled, she is just pretentious and does this to sound intelligent.For example the words "small town" becomes "diminutive municipality","Yellow" becomes "topaz". There are such horrible wrong context of usage of words in almost every page.

Rightly said by writer Stephen King(His works have been made into movies like Shawshank Redemption,Green mile,The shining,the mist etc) -"J.K Rowling is a terrefic writer but Stephenie Meyer can`t write worth a darn"

The fangirls:
If you think the sickening characters,the worthless plots and the horrendous writing are bad than let me assure you that they aren`t the worst.What`s worse are the fangirls! Twilight fans are little obnoxious teenage girls who would be ready to sell their souls to satan in order to get a chance to meet Edward or Jacob.These fans have divided themselves into "team edward" and "team jacob" and bitch slap each other in internet forums. Their obsession for Edward makes me doubt if they are lesbians? Because it is obvious that Edward wears lipstick, it is impossible not to notice it while watching the movie(god imagine Indian girls idolizing Uday chopra of niel n nikki who also puts on lipstick). The girls who idolize the character Jacob, makes me wonder if they are pedophiles? Jacob is a friendly werewolf who was in love(one sided) with Bella throughtout the series and in the finale falls in love with Edward and Bella`s "baby"!! thats right BABY!!

[CLICK ON PIC TO ENLARGE]

P.S I am no fan of harry potter/transformers/lord of the rings

P.P.S Sorry have been bashing alot in my blog recently(but if you cared to notice i don`t bash just for the sake of it,there is always some deep meaning in the blog posts where i bash) anyway promise to come up with some non bashful posts in the future

P.P.P.S Although kristen`s one expression biting-the-lips acting sucked in Twilight,she was awesome in a movie called PANIC ROOM and she even played a small but delicious role in a cult movie called INTO THE WILD. Robert was ok in harry potter but sucks in all his other films while i have not seen any other movie of Taylow Lautner.

P.P.P.P.S I admit i did`nt the read the books completely in one go,just read in parts..believe me i tried...but..just...could`nt!

P.P.P.P.P.S Below is a pic of an actual conversation i had with an ex-gf
[CLICK ON PIC TO ENLARGE]

We don`t care about your farm !

2010-07-30T06:24:00.000-07:00

Farmville is one of the infamous "50 worst inventions of all time" declared by TIME magazine recently.Well i totally agree with them, farmville is nothing but a waste of time.

I have never been to farmville myself,so while researching about this "farmville" i came to learn some shocking facts like...

-Surveys show that the number of farmville users in US alone outnumbers the number of real farmers to a shocking ratio of 80:1.

-Farmville is a data-mining application which simply means that it has access to all your information and this has been admitted by zynga.

-Farmville seduces users to spend real money on virtual property! Can`t wait to get that red tractor? A credit card is all you need! The design of the game is such that it will lead you to frustration causing the users to spend real money for virtual stuffs.

Do check this news article:-
http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2010/apr/07/farmville-user-debt-facebook

Farmville is the most widely used application in facebook and has about 60 million users.So how did it get to be so popular? By spamming! People get like around 50-60 farmville JOIN requests with messages like "kumar has sent you a gift,Won`t you like to send him a gift back?" and a "join farmville" button below this message.The user unaware clicks on it and *BANG* gets sucked into it and thinks its cool to pursue virtual farming cause all his friends are doing it.

As if this isn`t agonizing enough,the virtual farmers further continue spamming by publishing each and every activity of theirs on their wall.IF you even masturbate in your farm a message pops-up asking if you would like to share it with your friends that you just jerked-off and encourage them to become your neighbors so as to jerk-off together" and some of the activities are really gay like "Momo found a lost pink cow on their farm. Oh no!
Momo was farming when a sad, pink cow wandered onto their farm in FarmVille." Dude...pink cow??? WTF!
Although the non-farmville users went on to BLOCK farmville updates,these virtual farmers created havoc by spamming about their farm via status messages(cause of which i had to remove some of my friends and class mates)

A large number of virtual Indian farmers(21,000 to be precise) have even went on to sign a petition(fuck this world!!) to introduce an "Indian flag" to their farms(Gandhi would have been proud), so apparently it has become a patriotic issue now.What these people don`t realise is that the more productive time these people waste,the more money ZYNGA company makes cause of advertisement.

The reason for Farmville addiction is same as the reason why Indian women are addicted to saas-bahu serials(They both stttrrreeetttccch things).Now you plant a crop and than you have to harvest it but you can harvest it only after it is ripe and so the user has to keep checking and re-checking his farm till they are ripe else all the crops he has planted will become a waste! So every time you login farmville and plant a crop, you are making a virtual commitment to login back 12 hours later to harvest them.

Farmville is becoming more of an addiction than a timepass game.Of course Farmville is just a fad which will eventually go away(hopefully soon)and people will start to suck into some new fad just like how orkut-addicts left orkut and became facebook-addicts publishing status messages like "orkut sucks" after which they shifted to twitter and started tweeting "facebook sucks". Look around farmers, maybe there are people in real life who need you more than your virtual crops!

Indians and their low self-esteem

2010-07-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

While going through some forums I had seen someone asking this question "What if films like inception and prestige were made in India"...I for one couldn’t imagine the catastrophe it would create [check my article ANTI-REVIEW OF INCEPTION] since INCEPTION is a Hollywood film no one would dare question stealing thoughts/dreams invasion etc.There was another time when I had a debate with one of my Hollywood-fan friend..I asked him his opinion on the film NO SMOKING and he told me that it was trash. This surprised me because he was a huge fan of director David Lynch(most of his films are like NO SMOKING!) and he even praised an average film like Slumdog millionaire(which was a mockery of India`s poverty and low self-esteem)

When I wondered what could be the reason for all this, I came across this very thought-provoking picture in the internet

For those who cannot view the pic..."I have travelled across the length and breadth of India and I have not see one person who is a beggar, who is a thief, such wealth I have seen in this country, such high moral values, people of such caliber, that I do not think we would ever conquer this country, unless we break the very backbone of this nation, which is her spiritual and cultural heritage, and, therefore, I propose that we replace her old and ancient education system, her culture, for the Indians think that all that is foreign and English is good and greater than their own, they will lose their self-esteem, their native culture and they will become what we want them, a truly dominated nation".

These were the exact words by Lord Macaulay in his speech to the British Parliament in 1835.

Isn’t it true? Don`t we have a very low self esteem about us?
Remember India was the richest country in the WORLD before British invasion. During the 17`th century almost 25% of the World Industrial output was produced in India (Now it isn’t even 2%).Indian civilization is far ahead of the British and American civilization.

I have always heard from people that "save water" "save money" "save electricity", never heard "solve he water problem", "earn more money" "generate electricity". The result... we never dream, never think of the possibilities and never think beyond our means! It is high time that we should stop under-estimating our capabilities and traditional values and stop destroying the left over tradition just because our minds have been westernised.It is high time that we actually be PROUD to be an Indian.

You would like to check this link too..
http://www.nriol.com/info/amazingindia.asp

On Johnny Depp and Leonardo DiCaprio

2010-07-22T06:26:00.000-07:00

While the former is a method actor and the latter is a natural actor, both are arguably the top two best actors at present in Hollywood in terms of both Acting and Stardom.Lets analyse their career together...

1.Both started with TV

While Johnny starred in 21 jump street,Leonardo starred in TV series` like parenthood

2.Both have their favourite director

Johnny has worked with Tim in seven films while Leonardo has worked with Martin in four films.

3.What`s eating Gilbert Grape

The movie in which both starred together.Although Depp was in the lead and the movie is primarily about him,it was Leonardo who stole the hearts of the audience with an amazing portrayal of an autistic kid.

Incidentally Johnny played an autistic person in a film which released in the same year titled BENNY&JOON.

4.Oscar Nominees

Both have earned three oscar nominees each but yet to win one.While JD got oscar nominees for Pirates of the carrebean,Sweeney Todd and Finding Neverland, LDC got them for What`s eating Gilbert grape,Aviator and blood diamond.
Infact both were in competition in the same year for Finding Neverland and Aviator(Jamie Foxx-RAY ended up winning the gold)

5.Similar Roles:
Apart from playing autistic/asperger`s syndrome role in benny&joon and WEGG respectively,both have played many similar roles like..

playing Under-cover cops in DONNIE BRASCO and DEPARTED.

Left:THE QUICK AND THE DEAD , Right:DEAD MAN

Also both JD and LDC have enacted real life director`s biopics on screen.They played Edward wood(ed wood) and Hughes(aviator) respectively.Infact in a Woody allen film called CELEBRITY Leonardo had a cameo where he played a role which was kind of like Johnny depp!

6.All-time Blockbusters

While Titanic was such a huge hit only cause of James cameron`s magic,POTC is an atbb only and only cause of Jack Sparrow...oops,Captain Jack Sparrow! Leonardo has just one film among the all time hits and JD has 3-Alice in wonderland,potc2 and potc3 clearly indicating who the bigger star is.
If you observe their career graph you would notice one thing-Leonardo choses scripts based on how the film is overall while Depp choses scripts based on his character and acting scope in that film.

Leonardo works with cult directors most of the time even if the role is similar(shutter island-inception) or does`nt have much scope(gangs of new york).Whereas in Johnny`s case he choses films only if he truly believes in it and only if the character that he plays interests him.

Both have an enviable career-graph and its up to you to decide whom you like more...but it is without a doubt that these two are miles ahead of the others when it comes to both acting and stardom.

INCEPTION - An Anti- Review

2010-07-19T07:47:00.000-07:00

Inception was on my most awaited movies list ever since the first trailer.After watching the FDFS show , i thought "who am i to write the review of inception?"
And so here am comes for the very first time ---An Anti-Review of INCEPTION!

Inception is the new film from the zero time oscar award winner Christopher Nolan ,starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Ellen Page.I have lots of problems with this film, for starters the director fails to connect with the audience properly.Cinema is basically about the three E`s - educate,enlighten and entertain! But Christopher Nolan fails to enlighten or educate and lets forget about entertainment!! You try so hard to understand what INCEPTION tries to say, but the film is like one big puzzle that refuses to get solved.Watching INCEPTION is like sitting inside a gas chamber- that`s right a big torture!

INCEPTION leaves you exasperated and disgusted. Exasperated, because till the end credits roll, you just don’t know what happened in those 2 hours. Disgusted, because Nolan had a solid cast [Leo,Ellen,Cotillard,Caine,Joseph] and big production house[Warner bros] at his disposal. Yet, he couldn’t pull it off.

The only aspect that INCEPTION stands out is the special effects which are few and far in between.There is a kiss scene between Joseph and Ellen which is`nt properly shown, what a waste!In the climax of the film the editor cut the scene which would have showed whether Leonardo`s METAL TOP continued spinning or came to a rest leaving the audience to confusion.Moreover they do not show whether Ellen Page falls in love with Joseph Gordan at the end of the film or not-what a complete waste of a heroine!

There are many illogical scenes like the scene where Leonardo and Ellen enter into a lift and when they come out a beach appears.The director obviously left his brain behind while making this film.The editing and screenplay are the weakest point of the film where multiple layers of boring dream sequences are shown incoherently.The director is also not clear whether Marion Cotillard plays a negative or positive character in this film and thereby confusing the audience even more.

On the whole,INCEPTION is a strict one time watch just for the star cast and special effects.In the box office it will have a good opening because of Leonardo DiCaprio but will fail to sustain the audience in the long run.

2/5

-TARAN ADARSH

Yes thats right, This would what an indian film critic review would look like if someone from Bollywood would have made an Inception!

Why piracy is a good thing !

2010-07-17T06:58:00.000-07:00

Here are some reasons why i consider piracy of music,movies,software etc a good thing!

1. It is cheap: Your dad does a lot of hard work in earning his income.You can do him a huge favour by spending just 30 bucks for an "inglourious bastereds" pirated DVD rather than buying the 500 bucks original DVD.Respect Money.

2.Easily available: Sad but true, at most places pirated foreign languages film DVD`s are more easily available than the original ones.

3.May save you money from buying utter crap: You must have been a big ricky martin fan during 90`s but his latest album is crap! If you would have spent the 500 bucks that a ricky martin music CD costs,you would regret alot if the music is`nt good. Instead if you just hear them online and feel its crap there won`t be any regret, just sympathy for poor ricky.

4.Increases popularity of talented musicians: Many of us would prefer buying a MNIK or 3 IDIOTS music CD over dev-d cause we buy CD`s depending on who the star is!(in 90% of cases) and hence most of them would`nt have heard of amit trivedi if music piracy did`nt exist.Now that amit has got a cult following, he is getting a lot of huge offers!

5.It does`nt affect the artist: FACT:A music artist earns more from concerts and merchandise than the actual sales of his cd`s and moreover these artists earn in millions so it just won`t make a huge difference to them.

6. You become a hero among your friends: Got the dvd of 'alice in wonderland' a week before its release??? Share it with your friends, you will be a hero among them! Share it with female johnny depp fans and you may even get to have sex with them.

Top ten best image editing web-sites

2010-07-16T23:21:00.000-07:00

Don`t have any clue on how to use photoshop? Always wished that you could edit some of your pics to make it cool and share it with your friends?

Here`s some of the best easy image editing sites on net...

1. www.photo505.com

2.www.loonapix.com

3. www.writeonit.org

4. www.magmypic.com

5. www.photofunia.com

6. www.pizap.com/pizap.php?width=1366

7. www.fotocrib.com/

8. http://jpgfun.com

9. www.pixisnap.com

10. www.blingee.com

Types of people in FacebooK

2010-07-16T06:43:00.000-07:00

Facebook is a site which is filled with stereo-typical ppl!!
Here`s a list of fb-stereotypes lurking around FB~
surely you would identify some of your friends with these....and if u r a FB addict,u might even identify yourself with one of them ;)

1. The emosanal atyachaar:

There is always this one guy who writes in his status about how sad his break up was or how the one girl he loves doesn`t even know he existed! Such people even tend to write poems on their grief

2.Ugly people who used to look cute when they were kids:

Such people never upload their personal photos on FB....EVER! and after staying on Fb for a couple of weeks, they would upload a photo of theirs when they used to be a 3 yr old kid.
They think it would look cute but its actually disgusting!

3.The gamer:

The farmville,mafia wars,yoville etc etc addicts come under this category! I have reached 12`th level of gayville...i have reached 12 1/2 `th level of gayville...they need to publish each and every thing about their activities in these APPS to lure people to join and help harvest their crops(craps)

4.The lesbian:

Surely one of the worst of all! These are girls who upload cartoon pictures in their album and TAG every tom,dick and harry in it. Their other girl friends(bff) posts comments under it like "ohh shooo cuteee" "you rock girl" "i ♥ u" etc
Further more such girls tend to post status messages on how rockin their life style is...or how they had so much fun in last night`s party!

5.Tweets like a tiger but talks like a pussycat:

These are people who post well rehearsed-brave thoughts on social and political issues just to how fuckin` awesome their attitude is. They claim to be individual and brave...so brave that they post status and twitter updates cause they are too scared to stand up to person in real life.

6. The Betal:

These are people who follow around whatever you do in facebook.They comment or like each and every status of yours.

7.The News reporter:

"omg michaeeelllllll jackson is dead :((( RIP :(((( " "omg its first death anniversary of michaelllllll rip :(((((" Such people are the ones who browse around net or news channel and when they get any info about anyone popular...the first thing they do is post a status update with couple of smileys in it.It is because of people like these that most of us youths get to know about breaking news around the world through facebook/twitter and not through tv.These people will see to it that they are the first ones to upload breaking news on their status.

8.The types who publish about every minute of their life:

"just had breakfast! yummyyy" "on my way to college sigh :( " "got a text from my bf blush blush" "nowplaying-ringa ringa roses"
They just want the whole world to know each and every detail of their pathetic boring life!

9. The frannnnndshippers:
These are those hippies in facebook who randomly add or randomly accept anyone and everyone in facebook,these people tend to have as much as 2000 friends in their list! What r u? johnny depp???Mostly such people`s popularity in real world is inversely proportional to the number of friends they have in facebook

10.The Cryto-types:-
They are the worst!! These are people who type cryptic status messages to lure people to comment under their status. "ooohhh got a luv letter from a certain someone :'> " "blah blah blah,status dedicated to the one i love :-)"

These are people who write supposedly mysterious status messages in order to get comments like "wowww who is he/she?" under their status messages. Such people even tend to wait for minutes refreshing their status page repeatedly to check if they have got any comments!!!

There you go!!
These are ten kinds of stereo-types i have personally observed while i was in facebook.